Fat Day

I'm sorry I didn't post. I was up until 3 am working on my game design project. Maybe I'll post it once it's done, but it's giving me so much trouble right now.

So yeah, I don't like fat days. I'm having one right now because of how much I ate last night and even from the small amount I ate this morning.
Yesterday for breakfast I had 30 blueberries (25 cal), 2 slices of pineapple (30 cal), 1/2 of a peach (45 cal), and coffee with 2% milk (10 cal) before my 8 am class. By the time I got out of the section at 10:30 I was starving, so I grabbed half of a bagel with butter (90 cal), a slice of ham (45 cal), half of a kiwi (20 cal), and 1/2 of a small orange (25 cal). All was fine and dandy after that. I went to dance class (-300 cal) and the gym (-515 cal) and weighed myself. 121.0 lbs. It was an ok day. Then I had dinner. 20 tortilla chips with nacho toppings (225 cal), a small slice of hawaiian pizza (115 cal), and 3 sugar cookies (240 cal). Then I was munching on seaweed all night while programming my game (40 cal). So my total for the day was 910 calories, and my net intake was 95 calories. Not terrible, but I know that was only because of all the exercise I got in.

Oh and with only 2 weeks left of school I lost my ID. Just great. Now I have to buy a new one. $20. For a piece of plastic. I'm going to try to convince the student housing building to charge me the replacement ID fee instead of the new ID fee. That would cost me only $5. Much better.

There's not much else to talk about. The day is still young. I'll post today's stats later. For now I'll leave you with two blogs I recently started following. There's ullalexie's Emerging From a Cocoon of Fat and Violet's Ethereal Dream. Go show them some love! Or at least browse a few of their posts.

Ok, I'll be back. I hope you all have a great day (or at least a skinnier one than mine).

♥ Toni
P.S.-49 followers! Gah so close to 50! You guys are awesome. =)
P.P.S.-I took a new picture of my thigh gap. It's like twice as big now! It's on my "Progress in Photos" tab.

Start of a New Me

So first thing this morning I woke up, got online, and saw I had a new follower. Thank you for starting my day off with a smile. I hope we have a lovely time on our journeys together. =) Welcome.

It felt so good to get back on the SGD today! I didn't realize how much I'd missed it until today. Like a puzzle, I had to figure out how to fit certain foods into my day to not go over my limit of 700, and I didn't. =)
I thought I would have a semi-hard time getting back into the routine of counting but it was so much easier than I anticipated. What wasn't as easy was saying bye to my family. I came back to campus today with Aaron on a 2 1/2 hour car ride. And so begins school again! I ordered my textbooks online last night along with those caffeine pills. They should all be here by the end of the week. Hoorah!

Today was a good food day. For breakfast I had most of an orange (75 cal). For snacks I had a bite of sausage (35 cal), 10 tortilla chips and 3 tbsp of salsa (140 cal), 2 bagel crisps (45 cal), and 1/2 of a popsicle (20 cal). Dinner was the most surprising. All of the dining halls were closed so I went with some friends to Taco Bell and got two fresco tacos for only 300 calories. Some TB options are actually really low-cal compared to other fast food places which is really nice to know. So all in all my total came out to 615 calories out of 700.

Ok well that was my day. I can't wait to get back into the swing of things, especially my awesome new class schedule, and tell all of you guys about it!

Much Love,
♥ Toni

Damn Tacos

Hi everyone, I hope you're all having a lovely Wednesday. So far my day has consisted of nothing but class and required reading, although after this post I'll be watching the rest of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978). It's one of the films I'm considering writing about for my film essay (which I just found out is due in two weeks, not one). You know, aliens as a representation of communism during the Cold War, the idea of conforming to society, yadda yadda yadda. Actually I think it should be a lot more fun than my last essay since it's my choice.

I've been starting to notice lately that my restriction mindset is finally starting to really kick in. I'm starting to feel my jeans get much looser, my belts are starting to notch tighter, the cellulite in my legs is getting less noticeable, and I can start to feel actual abs underneath the inch or so of fat I have in my belly. My weight is continuing to go down. Sometimes when I get up too fast I get lightheaded. I decline going to the dining hall half the time I'm asked. I'm feeling happier about my body, but I'm also verbally stating my happiness to others. Once I've lost another 5, 10, 15 pounds people will notice. I need to start flying under the radar when it comes to weight or else I'm sure someone will ask about it. I'm not sure if it was a mistake to tell Aaron I want to someday be 112 pounds as he likes my bigger body, but I think I reassured him when I said the healthy BMI range for my height is between 95 and 127 lbs, and I'm currently 5 lbs over that.

I had no time to go to the gym today, but I did do some intense stretching (if there is such a thing) for 20 minutes. At least it burned some calories - about 65. I really wanted my intake to be under 500 today, and it would have been if I hadn't eaten a damn taco and chips for dinner. Lunch was light-ish. I had 3 pieces of sushi (110 cal), a ciabatta roll (I think; it closely resembled ciabatta) (160 cal), a small salad with 1 1/2 tbsp ranch dressing (120 cal), and 3 bites of mac-n-cheese (30) for a lunch total of 420 calories. Between that and dinner I had a mint and a stick of gum (10 cal). I was planning on forgoing dinner altogether, so I have no idea why I ate. The food wasn't even that great. Well I already said I had a taco (150 cal) and a couple of tortilla chips with guacamole (60 cal), plus a few spoonfuls of veggie rice soup (25 cal) for a dinner total of 235 calories. Total for the day was 665 minus the 65 calories I burned comes to 600 calories. Hmph. Not good enough today. Well if I can I'll be going to the gym tomorrow and restricting as much as I can (but I'm definitely going to eat beforehand this time).

Alright, time for everyone's favorite part, thinspo!

I can't wait to roll my cotton shorts 3 or 4

times and my huge badonkadonk not peek out.

So much space between those thighs!

If you guessed that today's theme is girls with cute butts, then you are correct! Thin girls (if they aren't stuck with flat or square butts) almst always have a cute little bubble butt. I've always wanted one, but I've been stuck with my mom's bootylicious genes for as long as I can remember.

Wishing a wonderful evening to all,

♥ Toni

P.S. - How could I forget?! Hello to my new followers. =)

Thank you for your support and joining me on this journey, it means a lot. ^__^

Today Was Kind of a Big Day

I got my first follower! Thank you. =)
And my first comment, also a thank you. Your support means a lot, plus I feel like I'm no longer writing in a diary to myself. ^__^

So today I came back to college, and so far it's been nice. Almost no one, including my boyfriend, is back yet. Out of about 40 floor mates only 6 are back, but no doubt the rest will be here tomorrow. I'm kind of excited for this quarter, but I'm sure it'll be harder than fall quarter. I think the biggest change is the fact that I'm taking my weight seriously now. One of the first things I did when I got to Santa Cruz was buy a scale. I get so off track if I don't have a number to rely on. Also I've decided to commit to my own version of the 3-day diet for 6 days and fast on the 7th.

Here's the meal plan with my changes in red:


Instructions:
Drink at least 4 glasses of water a day.
You can add any of these spices and condiments: salt, herbs, lemon, pepper, vinegar, Worcestershire, soy sauce, mustard & ketchup to your foods.


Day 1:

Breakfast:
Black Coffee or Tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal
1/2 Grapefruit or Juice
1 piece of Toast with 1 Tbsp. Peanut Butter

Lunch:
1/2 Cup of Tuna
1 Toast
Black Coffee or Tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal (optional)

Dinner:
3 Oz. any lean meat or chicken
1 cup green beans or other green vegetable
1 cup carrots
1 apple
1 cup regular vanilla ice cream (optional)


Day 2:

Breakfast:
Black coffee or tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal
1 Egg
1/2 Banana
1 piece of Toast

Lunch:
1 cup cottage cheese or tuna
8 regular saltine crackers

Dinner:
2 beef franks
1 cup broccoli or cabbage or any steamed vegetable
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 banana
1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream (optional)


Day 3:

Breakfast:
Black coffee or tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal
5 regular saltine crackers
1 oz. cheddar cheese (optional)
1 apple

Lunch:
1 boiled egg
1 toast
Black coffee or tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal (optional)

Dinner:
1 cup tuna
1 cup carrots
1 cup cauliflower or other raw vegetable
1 cup melon
1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream (optional)


Repeat once, fast on the 7th day




So yeah, wish me luck on that one. I think it's easy enough to stick to, except for the 2 hot dogs. I've tried the ABC diet in the past, but I'm terrible about keeping track of calories. I just try to eat as little as possible. I started out ok today with an egg white omelet and fruit, but I skipped lunch and wolfed down an entire pepperoni calzone and cake batter ice cream. I'll be lucky if it's not over 2500 calories.

So I've been trying to find some new thinspo to inspire me that hasn't circulated as well around the blogging community, but it's difficult. Once an image is out there, it's pretty much used to it's maximum, and it doesn't help that only a very small percentage of thinspo appeals to me. I prefer real girl, not too skinny (as in being able to see all of the ribs), and with at least one body part on display. I gravitate towards bikini photos, mirror pictures, stuff like that, and never before/after shots. They are inspiring, but I quite like end results more.

I did try to post a few pictues, but they got cut off. I promise they'll go up tomorrow, though. There are some that I just love.

Well I'm tired. I woke up at 7 am and I need sleep!


Good night all,
Toni