Update on last night:

So...yeah, I know I forgot to update. And the update itself isn't very pretty.

After dance class I weighed in at 124.75. Up 1.25 lbs. Sigh...
And then as I was on the bus Aaron called. He ended up getting at another stop and convinced me to go eat with him at a dining hall, so I did, and had Special K, a piece of pizza, a brownie, and 3 cookies. It's not much, and I know my total is less than 1000, but I felt pretty shitty afterwards.

I think for the next two weeks I'm going to give the 10 Day Diet a little break. I think I'll just stick to having a net total of 500 or below and I'll be happy. And I think my goal for cheer tryouts is going to change to 120 lbs instead of 118, but 115 is still ideal for dance tryouts. I've just been so overwhelmed lately and I need a break from putting my body through so much stress.

I think my weigh in today will be satisfactory. It'd be awesome to be back down to 123.5, but a solid 124 will please me. I'm not going to eat until after my midterm (that whole "you perform better on tests after you've eaten" just never really applied to me) and burn maybe 400-500 calories and then weigh in. I think that'll get me down to something I like.

Ok, I'm off to read everyone's posts before I go get some sun and then head off to my midterm. Thank you for all the support on that! I think it should be fairly easy, just 100 multiple choice questions, but you never know!

Motivation to keep me going:

I love it when you can tell a girl is still thin under a baggy t-shirt.

I'll catch up with you guys after my workout!

♥ Toni


Update #1
I saw it: 123.5! It was a nice little surprise to behold. And I was planning on getting a smoothie after my workout (burned 525 calories in 45 minutes!), especially after seeing that number, but a bunch of us are going out to an Italian restaurant for a friend's birthday, so I'll try to keep it under 800. Maybe I'll split a dish with someone. Too much pasta fills me up like nothing else, except maybe pancakes. =/

Ok, update #2 will come after dinner. Wish me luck!

Bored

So I'm totally waiting on Aaron to give me his headphones to do my homework right now...and I'm bored...so I thought I'd put a post up.

First of all he does not need those headphones to do his chem homework. We're in the library  and I forgot mine in my room, so you think he'd be nice and give them to me. Nope. All he's doing is listening to freaking dub-step. I, however, need them to watch My Cousin Vinny for my film music essay. Ugh I wish he would be a bit more considerate some of the time most of the time.

So the fast is going well, I guess. I'm eyeing this guy's chocolate muffin right about now. Splendid. At least I only have 6 more hours to go. How long did I say this fast was? 28 hours? Well let's hope I can hit 123 today. If not I'm going to rage super hard.

Ok got the headphones. I'll post later, probably really late. Sorry. =(



Later:
Good news - I'm down to 124.75 lbs.
Bad news - that means I only lost 1/2 a pound!
I guess I can't blame my body. I ended up eating at 6. Not the 28 hour fast I thought I'd have, but 24 hours is good enough. And I only had 4 oz of chicken & wild rice soup (100 cal), a small corner piece of focaccia (50 cal), and a super small piece of poppy seed cake (75 cal). And then I came home and had a mini pig out. 1 redvine and 1 peep (55 cal) and sour cream &onion chips (190 cal). Total for the day: 470 calories. Burned off 350 in jazz so net intake: 120 calories. At least I got all 80 points today for the 10 Day Diet. Hopefully if I can lose .5 lbs today, I can do the same tomorrow. Aiming for 124.0 lbs. And thanks for all the comments on my gap! I know it's tiny, but I'll post pics every 5 lbs maybe? to show the progress.

Motivation:

Yes, yes, yes, tanned and toned, just what I want to be. =)

Wishing a lovely evening for my lovely ladies,

♥ Toni

The Meaning of Life

Yes, the number of followers has reached that point. 42: the meaning of life.

My weekend was so-so. We'll see exactly how bad it was when in weigh in today.

Saturday was relatively ok. I had a turkey sandwich that I made in the dining hall. Bread (120 cal), 3 oz turkey (90 cal), 3 slices cheddar cheese (115 cal), and pickles, mustard, and lettuce (10 cal). I also had an orange (60 cal), some frozen yogurt (50cal), and a small piece of a blondie (45 cal) for a total of 490 calories. Then I burned 565 calories off with some jogging and the elliptical. I drank 2 L of water and got 8 hours of sleep, so another 80 point day for the 10 Day Diet.

Yesterday was kind of a blip. I had Easter candy and chips and was going to leave it at that because it was under 500 calories, but I ended up eating dinner which was a slice of pizza, some vegan chili, granola squares, and 1 piece of french toast. It's likely under 1000 calories total but I felt super terrible about it after, so I'm fasting today until I weigh in. Plus I didn't get any exercise yesterday, so my point count is only 50. =/

Today so far I've only had a cup of coffee with 3/4 tbsp of creamer (25 cal) and water, and I'm hoping I'll pee most of that out by 5. If I've gained anything more than 1 lb than I'll just fast until tomorrow's dance class. =)

So less than 3 weeks until cheer tryouts and about a month until dance tryouts. I need to be 118 in 19 days. We'll see how feasible that is once I've weighed in. If nothing else I want to be 118 by dance tryouts, which gives me an extra two weeks, so maybe 115. I'm going to have to work hard, but I think I can give it a go.

Ok, I'll post what I see on the scale later tonight and have more thinspiration for you lovely ladies soon.

♥ Toni


Later:
125.25. Only .75 lbs up from Friday. I can deal with that. It wasn't a full lb, so I allowed myself to eat dinner, but tomorrow I'm planning on going the whole day without food. At least until after dance class. So by the time I get home it'll be about 10 pm. That's...28 hours of fasting I believe. I just want to see a new number. I want 123. 122. 121...all the way down to 118.

Upside: I'm getting tanner. =)

Another upside: Remember the post on Thursday about jazz class and how I died afterwards because my teacher asked me to do the dance so many times? Today she told me I was the absolute best one in that routine.

This was me today:

And I really needed it at the time, too. It's that time of year again: the dance/drill team I was on in high school just got done with their week of tryouts and today they announced who made leadership. I was getting my nostalgia on like you wouldn't believe, but I was also really jealous because all that time I put into that team bubbled back up and the memory of never getting on leadership crept into my brain. Captain, co-captain, Senior Lieutenant, Junior Lieutenant. I was never any of it. But the past has passed. All I hope for now is to make the cheer or dance team. I'll worry about leadership only after I've crossed that bridge.

Ok food time. I've only had dinner, and tonight was Meatless Monday in my dining hall, so I had some vegetarian nachos (205 cal), veggie lasagna (95 cal), 6 oz. of Pepsi (75 cal), and 3 oz of apple crisp (135 cal), plus that coffee this morning (25 cal) equals 535 calories. Not ideal, but my all-day fast tomorrow should take care of it. Plus I burned 300 calories at dance today so my net total is 235 calories. I skipped the gym. I just really wasn't feeling up to it.

Ariana: It's ok! I totally fell off the 10 Day Diet my first go around. I'm planning on pretty much just making this a 30 Day Diet, so just jump back on after the first 10 days are up and we'll be on track together. =)

Speaking of the 10 Day Diet. My point total today is 70. 10 for food, 20 for everything else.

Motivation:

Waiting for the days when I 

can look this good in gym clothes.

A gap! A gap!

Haha sooooooo I've already reached capacity for calories today so I'm definitely not going to eat anymore. How you may ask? My mother and her care packages of course! She sent me a late Easter box filled with Peeps, a chocolate bunny, Snickers, Dove, and Butterfinger chocolate eggs, and tons of M&M's. Sooooooooo much candy. I've already given a couple of pieces away...and ate a few as well.

So only one meal fore me today: lunch. I had 4 oz of lentil soup (90 cal), most of a dinner roll (125 cal), and s few bites of cooked leeks and onions (20 cal). Then came the candy. One Dove peanut butter egg (65 cal), one Butterfinger egg (55 cal), and one big Snickers egg (120 cal). Seriously? That's 475 calories just from 6 items, and literally half of that was from candy. Ugh what am I going to do? I suppose I'll probably shuffle half of it off to my friends and gradually eat the rest.

So I haven't exercised yet today but I'm going to spend 15-20 minutes at the gym (hopefully on an elliptical) before dance class, which will knock out my exercise points (20). I got my food points (20), and 8 hours of sleep (dreaming about the new Deathly Hallows movie might I add; 20 pts), and I only have 3 oz left of water to drink before I get my water points (20). Yay, another 80 point day! Oh and a nice surprise for me: I was laying out on the grass outside tanning with my bestie Jenna because it's such a lovely day out today and I noticed that there's space between my legs! Granted I was lying down and it was the space between my knee and my thigh, but it's a start!

It looked kind of like this:

except definitely not as big of a gap, maybe 1/5 of that

So yeah, that's my exciting news for the day. I'll update you all on my weight real fast after I get back from dance. I'm spending the night at Aaron's so we can watch the new Office. Michael and Holly are getting married! Yay!

♥ Toni
P.S.- Speaking of weddings, royal wedding coming up in only 8 hours!
P.P.S.- 38 followers?! You girls rock. =)

Today is a gorgeous day. =)

Oh I'm sorry for not posting last night. I had a lot to read and I just didn't have time after dance class and the gym (which I was at for only 20 minutes, this...whatever sickness I have is really taking a lot out of me).

As always thank you for all the comments on last night's post. They motivate me so much! And I'm up to 35 followers! The newest one: Ana-answer. Go follow her! Show her some support on the journey we're all taking. =) 

Thin_Envy: Girl you are 111 lbs. That's 15 lbs lighter than me. I know you want to be 90 lbs but come on, I'm sure you could wear that midriff shirt right now and look great in it! Although it is always nice to have a visual reminder of your goals.

So yesterday was alright with food. I only had a piece of crustless toast with butter (110 cal) and half a grapefruit (30 cal) for breakfast. Lunch was something called Mayan pork with veggies (125 cal) and 4.5 oz of vegan chili (45 cal). That comes to 310 calories, and the remaining 190 were used up with some leftover Chinese I ate with Aaron. I didn't have a lot, just enough to wade off a growling tummy. Dance nixed 350 calories and I burned 160 on a cycle at the gym, so my intake was 500 calories and my net intake was -10 calories. I can live with that. Aaaaand my digestive system is getting back on track which means I'm losing again. 126 lbs on the scale last night. It's not much but it's enough to get lift my spirits. Getting to 118 by May 21st looks a little easier now.

I got another 80 points for the 10 Day Diet. 500 calories (20 pts), 1 hr 50 min exercise (20 pts), 2 L water (20 pts), and 8.5 hrs sleep (20 pts).

Alright so in other news I was found. Granted it was only by my boyfriend, but I thought he would make a big deal over it. Instead all he said was that all I talk about it what I eat and the 2 paragraphs he read were boring and he didn't really want to read anything else. That got me thinking: do I write boring posts? I try not to, but do I? Is there something else you all want me to touch on? I guess I could write more about my personal life, but I just don't have a very exciting life at the moment.

Ok, I'm about to go finally have some real food, but I'll catch up with you later, post my intake for today, and show some thinspo love.


Laterrrrr:
I really didn't want to go to dance today because of whatever sickness I've been going through, but it made me feel a lot better. It burned 300 calories and I spent only 20 minutes on an elliptical right after and burned another 270. The scale said 125.75. It's progress I guess.

Food was ok. Despite getting my 8 hours of sleep I was really groggy at my 8 am class so I had a 10 oz coffee with a smidge of splenda, non-fat milk, and half and half (15 cal). Lunch was 7.5 oz of black bean soup (90 cal), some cooked zucchini (35 cal), a small fish patty with tartar sauce (125 cal), and a small plateful of carrot sticks (55 cal). Dinner was 1/2 of a beef tamale (45 cal), some strawberry fro yo (50 cal), and half of a brownie (75 cal) bringing my total to 490 calories and with exercise to -80 calories.

Alright I got my 8 hours of sleep, 2 liters of water, under 500 calories, and 1 hr 50 minutes of exercise, bringing me to another 80 points. It's slightly monotonous, but it's relatively easy and I'm seeing results.

As always I'm loving you girls and your comments, especially regarding what I mentioned earlier about Aaron. On the one hand I'm glad he's not very interested in my blog, but on the other it kind of surprised me that he wasn't more concerned about my dietary habits, but I guess that's due to him not caring enough to read. Oh well...
Christy: Fat and carbs? Wow I can't believe he memorized all of that!

Ok I've got work to do, so I'll leave you with this little beauty:

 I am so obsessed with stomachs! I wish I had a flatter one. =/

Hoping you girlies have a lovely night,

♥ Toni

Fresh Start: A Success

34 followers! You guys are so awesome. I'm a little stressed right now and seeing my number of followers grow is such a nice surprise. =)

Ok so for starters I broke my promise. I went to the gym after dance, but only for 25 minutes! I figured if I burn off the 500 calories I eat a day I can go to bed with a 0 (possibly negative) calorie slate. And considering I already burn off 300-350 calories a day from dance these workouts will only be 20 minutes max and not excessive.

I managed to actually do well with food today. I skipped breakfast and had lunch at 1. Because I'm getting sick I went with fruits with vitamin C. I had 2 slices of pineapple (50 cal), a kiwi (40 cal), 6 slices of orange (35 cal), and a salad with 1 tbsp of ranch dressing (90 cal). Then I went to dance and the gym which burned off 565 calories. Dinner was 2 oz of mashed potatoes (60 cal), 2 oz of flank steak (120 cal), and a small piece of pesto foccacia (75 cal) for a total intake of 470 calories and a net total of -95 calories.

The 10 Day Diet points are as follows:
8 hours of sleep (20 pts), 2 L of water (20 pts), <500 calories of food (20 pts), and 2 hours of exercise (20 pts) for my first day of 80 points!

Thank you for all the comments about starting this whole thing over. It makes me feel less like a failure and more like I'm doing something to take control over the way my eating has been. I don't think I'll have too much trouble reaching 80 points each day this go around.

Ariana: It's awesome that you're doing the 10 Day Diet with me! This way we can support each other on a day-to-day basis and have someone to go to when we feel like we're getting off track. And I even saw a few other people wanting to do it with you on your blog. 10 Day Diet fever has struck!

Harlow: Yeah I've read all the posts you put up about Rusty's exercise regimens. Maybe I'll have to start doing more noticeable intervals with my cardio. And I'm so jealous over how far you've come with your running. I just could not ever imagine myself running for 15 miles, four hours straight. You're fabulous!

Alright that's really all I have today. I weighed in at 126.5 lbs. Not where I want to be exactly but it's better than 128, which is what I thought I'd weigh today after this weekend's disaster. Right now though I have volume 1 of Frankenstein and 2 game design chapters to read plus a prototype to finish.

Someday I hope to be able to rock a 

half shirt without feeling like a pudge.

♥ Toni

Starting All Over

Yes. I must. I have lost sight of my goals and therefore I must start all over from scratch. I'm starting the 10 Day Diet over and not. straying. at. all. I think what did it was all the exercise. Something about all that water and 2+ hours of exercise a day made my body go berserk, like it thought I was fighting for my life or something. So this weekend I let loose. I ate whatever the hell I wanted, I didn't count calories. Just today I've had Easter candy, Chinese food, a doughnut, several Lays potato chips, and a bottle of Sprite. I feel like a monster, which is only being enhanced by reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. So my goal for the next 30 days (with days 27 and 28 being my cheer tryout days) is to stick to 3 cycles of the 10 Day Diet and not screw up. I will, however, cool it on the gym time and only go Friday-Sunday since dance Monday-Thursday covers my 1 hr. I will stick to sleep the best that I can and definitely stop shoveling so much food down my throat. I can do this!

To kick start my motivation:

bikini-ready, that's what I want to be.

 Although I may have possibly bought 2 bags of chips at Safeway today, but that's ok! I'll work past it. And instead of depriving you lovely supporters of thinspo until I reach whatever goal I need to get to I'm going to start posting a picture or two of thinspo every day for motivation and then go hog wild when I get to my next weight goal. Sound good?

I hope you all had lovely Easters today. If you spent it with your family, cherish it! I spent mine in college thinking about my grandma's egg hunts and family dinners. Oh well...

Have a wonderful evening,
♥ Toni

Ummmmmmm?

Alright, so I don't care what the scale says but there is no way on earth I gained 2.5 lbs in one day. No way. I wouldn't say all the food in my system got me to 127 today, but I haven't gone big girl potty for over 24 hours. I just wish my digestive system would make up it's mind, or better yet go back to normal.

Trinity: the Super Slimdown Competition is something created by sunshinechild. It's a competition between several girls that started on April 1 and is going until May 20. Basically it's a competition to see who can lose the most weight in that amount of time.

Christy: Thank you for being so supportive these past few days. It's been really hard hitting the gym as often as I have been but your comments help make me stronger. =)  And I hope your fast is still going well.

Ok so again I'm in the negatives for the day. I only had one meal (lunch) around 2 pm that consisted of 2 oz mashed potatoes (110 cal), 1/2 of a hotdog with the bun (135 cal), 15 large-ish cut fries (110 cal), 3/4 of a dinner roll (105 cal), a marshmallow egg I got in my Easter basket my grandma sent me in the mail (80 cal), 3/4 of a piece of chocolate cream cake (150 cal), some pina colada fro yo (50 cal), and 4 redvines (110 cal) which comes to 850 calories. Dance was -350 calories and I burned off 775 calories on the elliptical after that so my net total for the day is -275 calories. Not terrible. I hope I can get back down to 124 by tomorrow since I know I can't be burning all of these calories and gain weight at the same time. Hopefully my body will agree with me on that and shed all the extra yuckiness in me.

Day 4 of the 10 Day Diet went as follows: 850 calories (10 points), 8 hours of sleep (20 points), 2 liters of water (20 points), 2.5 hrs of exercise (20 points). Total: 70 points. Acceptable. I don't think I'll be getting many 80 point days, but I've been in the negatives all week so I guess I don't mind too much.

So I've resolved to try out for both cheer and dance. I have a feeling I have a better chance of making cheer rather than dance, but we'll see come audition time. I only say this because from what I've heard the cheer team isn't terribly hard to make. In contrast, when I tried out for dance in the fall less than 10 girls out of over 50 who tried out made the team. Ugh...

Ok I think I'm rambling, and not in a particularly interesting way. Aaaaand I have 70 pages of a book to read before 9:30 am tomorrow. I'll check back in the afternoon and let you all know how the gym goes!

Oh BTW, I got up to 31 followers. =) You should check out my newest follower's blog, thin and bones, she posts great thinspo.

♥ Toni

Feeling smaller, feeling sicker?

124.5 lbs today. Sooooo close. I have the feeling though that my weight tomorrow will be farther away from 124 than it was today...

I almost went for a 24 hours fast. The last time I ate was yesterday after class at 2, and I kept it up until 1 pm today. I was starving. My stomach was rumbling in 8 am lecture this morning, but some gum and 3 oz of water calmed it down, then I went for a workout at the gym and burned 755 calories.I came home, showered, then ate 540 calories' worth of food (eggplant, garlic bread, tomato bisque, and veggies), then went off to dance where I burned another 300 calories, then came back and ate more food. Nachos, I'd say 375? So my net total comes to -140 calories, although I still only get 10 points for food being over 500, 10 points for sleep (6 hrs), and 20 points for both exercise and water (2 hrs, 35 minutes and 2 liters, respectively).

Speaking of water, I've been experiencing very, er, loose stools lately, if you catch my drift. It started the night before I began the 10 Day Diet, but all the water I've been drinking hasn't been helping much, in fact I think it's making it worse. 3 days this has been going on, and I can't help but think that my weight loss may be linked to my apparent malnutrition according to my toilet. Have any of you experienced this? I think I'll wait it out until Friday (hey, I'll take any way I can to get my weight down in time for the Super Slimdown Competition weigh in). If I'm still having potty problems then I'll go to the campus health center. Having a virus or parasite would be no fun.

On a less disgusting note, today is 420! Or at least it was. I largely didn't celebrate it as I was very much against smoking before dance class, but I took a snicker doodle edible about an hour ago. So far...nothing. That's fine with me I guess, I need to get some reading done. Harriet Jacobs here I come!

Oh and yesterday I e-mailed the captain of my university's dance team and asked if there would be spring tryouts for next year. Turns out they're in early June. I've been getting more confident in my dancing and even though I didn't make the team in the fall I think I may have a shot with my improved technique and shrinking physique. So now I have a dilemma, try out for cheer, try out for dance, or plan on trying out for both? I may just suck at cheer tryouts which would give me a free conscience to go out for dance, but if I made the team I'd still really want to try dancing and I'd feel like a big traitor. The again I could just plan on trying out for dance, but if I didn't make it I'd always wonder if I could have made the cheer team, but then again they do both hold more tryouts in early fall. Ah! Decisions, decisions.

Ok lovelies, that's all I have today.

Wishing you a happy Thursday,
♥ Toni

Day 1 of the 10 Day Diet

So I tried out the 10 Day Diet for the first time today. It went well. I got 6 hours of sleep (10 points), exercised for 2.5 hours (20 points), drank 9 fl oz of water (20 points) and ate a total of 480 calories (20 points). So out of a max of 80 points I got 70, not bad. I was just up late working on an essay, but I'll be going to bed by midnight so I can wake up bright and early at 8 am to go to the gym.

Today's food went great considering last night I went out for a friend's birthday with 13 other people to an Italian place. Most people, including myself, got calzones - big calzones. Out of all the girls (7 total including myself) I was the only one to eat their entire dinner. Everyone else kept half for later. Surprisingly I didn't feel like too much of a pig. Some of that was due to the fact that everyone was constantly saying how much I deserved to eat out and how I earned a great dinner and stuff like that. I guess it's true. Just today I burned a total of 1,065 calories from the elliptical at the gym and dance class. But I'm not slacking! I just needed a two-day buffer before starting another diet.

Food was minimal. Lunch was a small bowl of fire roasted corn soup (125 cal), and some veggies with dressing (145 cal). Dinner was a bowl of minestrone (110 cal), 1/4 cup of tapioca pudding (65 cal), and a few spoonfuls of banana/mango frozen yogurt (45 cal). My net intake today is -575 and I am desperately trying to make up for losing no weight this past week. The scale today was at 127. Something tells me that calzone has a lot to do with it...but hopefully all the bathroom trips I've had due to the massive amounts of water I've been putting into my system has pushed some of that out!

I'm crossing my fingers for a lower number on the scale tomorrow!

Hello to 30 followers! It's amazing to me to think I'm at all interesting for 30 people to read about my life on a daily basis. Thank you lovelies. =)

♥ Toni

10 Day Diet

Sorry for not updating last night. A few of you asked what the 10 Day Diet is.

  

So basically it's just a point system that takes 10 days to do and promises a loss of up to 5 lbs. I think it'll be fairly easy after 30 days of the SGD. The only challenge I think I'll face is the 64 oz of water a day. I usually only drink 3-5 (gotta work on that...). I'm taking a little break from counting my calories religiously before starting this on Monday.

Yesterday's weigh in wasn't as bad as I thought. I'm basically the same weight as I was a week ago - 126 lbs. I hope this week will yield better results because I'm definitely in a better mindset than last week. My intake last night wasn't terrible. I had only eaten 100 calories of coconut frozen yogurt and burned 550 calories at the gym before going out to eat at a burger place. I just had a regular burger and some fries, probably no more than 700 calories total, so my total came to around 250 calories. Today all I've had is a small turkey sandwich from this place on campus (probably around 500 calories, but that maybe that's a slight overestimation). I think that's all I'll have today. I feel pretty content. No gym though. It's only open until 6 pm on the weekends and I have a lot of homework to do, mainly an essay due on Monday about Benito Cereno by Herman Melville. So gotta get to work! I'll catch up on everyone's blogs real quick beforehand though. Gotta keep my spirits up. =)

♥ Toni