Weight, Exercise, and Dancing

Official weigh-in: 125 lbs. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Well, I guess I'm not still at 127, and I've exercised every day this week, and I've been in the negatives, and I know I'll drop some weight when my digestive track gets back to normal, so I guess that's not all bad. I just want to weigh less. =(

Christy: a sea salt bath you say? Sounds tempting, and I would try it if I had 1) sea salt and 2) a bath tub. Damn my dorm bathrooms and it's endless supply of showers!

Otherwise thank you girls for the supportive comments last night. I actually just ate a little bit ago after going to the gym. I feel ok. I burned off 640 calories. I don't know my calorie count yet. I'll update on that later.

Food has been weird lately. I've been having a hard time telling whether or not I'm hungry or full. The feelings are the same. And no matter how much I do eat, I don't feel overtly full and I've been going to bed with a growling tummy. Maybe I just think I'm eating a lot? Right now I don't think I'm eating much like a disordered person. French fries, hot dogs, frozen yogurt, tacos. I mean I've really been indulging. I do think, however, that I've started to exercise like a disordered person. It's not just "Oh I'll go dance class for 90 minutes then do a little workout." It's "I'm going to dance class with the intent of being the best and then going to exercise to burn off the most amount of calories I can." I mean, I'm getting light headed a lot and my legs have been continually sore. I'm short of breath and my resting heart rate has gone up. I know this isn't normal. It's my perfectionist drive. Example: yesterday a new girl came into my jazz dance class (I prefer my jazz class much more to my modern dance class) and that sense of competition came over me. For about half the class I watched her. She was thin and pretty and I wanted to see if she was good at dancing, or at least catching on. I watched her stretch, do combinations across the floor, leaps and turns, and finally I concluded that she wasn't a threat, that she wasn't as good as me. Aren't I a self-centered egotistical bitch? At least that's what I think. Again, I'm a perfectionist. And I'm a girl. Those two traits are bound to manifest themselves into bitchiness at one point or another. I just like being the best, or one of the best. I feel like a failure any other way.

Ok I'm rambling again, and I still have more to post later. But for now I have to go, I'm taking a little shopping trip with some friends. Leggings, headbands, jeans, so much I need to buy!

Later: Alright, so I'm back from my trip. I bought leggings, but no headbands or jeans. One terrible thing about being short: jeans are nearly impossible to buy. I did get some new sports bras and cotton shorts. Yay for new exercise clothes!

When we got back to campus I indulged in a dining hall crunch wrap...on top of having two kid's scoops at Baskin Robin. Oh goody joy, I can't wait to see which number appears on the scale tomorrow. For now though, I'm too tired to calculate all that I ate. I'm sure it was horrid. All I want is sleep. Day 6 of consecutive gym time coming up tomorrow at 10 am. I hope you all are having a great start to your weekend. =)

♥ Toni

Ummmmmmm?

Alright, so I don't care what the scale says but there is no way on earth I gained 2.5 lbs in one day. No way. I wouldn't say all the food in my system got me to 127 today, but I haven't gone big girl potty for over 24 hours. I just wish my digestive system would make up it's mind, or better yet go back to normal.

Trinity: the Super Slimdown Competition is something created by sunshinechild. It's a competition between several girls that started on April 1 and is going until May 20. Basically it's a competition to see who can lose the most weight in that amount of time.

Christy: Thank you for being so supportive these past few days. It's been really hard hitting the gym as often as I have been but your comments help make me stronger. =)  And I hope your fast is still going well.

Ok so again I'm in the negatives for the day. I only had one meal (lunch) around 2 pm that consisted of 2 oz mashed potatoes (110 cal), 1/2 of a hotdog with the bun (135 cal), 15 large-ish cut fries (110 cal), 3/4 of a dinner roll (105 cal), a marshmallow egg I got in my Easter basket my grandma sent me in the mail (80 cal), 3/4 of a piece of chocolate cream cake (150 cal), some pina colada fro yo (50 cal), and 4 redvines (110 cal) which comes to 850 calories. Dance was -350 calories and I burned off 775 calories on the elliptical after that so my net total for the day is -275 calories. Not terrible. I hope I can get back down to 124 by tomorrow since I know I can't be burning all of these calories and gain weight at the same time. Hopefully my body will agree with me on that and shed all the extra yuckiness in me.

Day 4 of the 10 Day Diet went as follows: 850 calories (10 points), 8 hours of sleep (20 points), 2 liters of water (20 points), 2.5 hrs of exercise (20 points). Total: 70 points. Acceptable. I don't think I'll be getting many 80 point days, but I've been in the negatives all week so I guess I don't mind too much.

So I've resolved to try out for both cheer and dance. I have a feeling I have a better chance of making cheer rather than dance, but we'll see come audition time. I only say this because from what I've heard the cheer team isn't terribly hard to make. In contrast, when I tried out for dance in the fall less than 10 girls out of over 50 who tried out made the team. Ugh...

Ok I think I'm rambling, and not in a particularly interesting way. Aaaaand I have 70 pages of a book to read before 9:30 am tomorrow. I'll check back in the afternoon and let you all know how the gym goes!

Oh BTW, I got up to 31 followers. =) You should check out my newest follower's blog, thin and bones, she posts great thinspo.

♥ Toni

The Weigh-In

So I was dreading the inevitable weigh-in I knew I would have to face after I went to the gym today. After this weekend I thought the damage might be 2 or 3 pounds, enough to undo an entire week's worth of restrictive work. So I got on the scale and saw...-1.5 lbs!!! You don't even know how excited I was. I was shaking all the way home because I was so relieved. I'm just a hair away from my next goal: 134 lbs. I was so glad to know that my pants actually did feel looser and my belt was easier to notch - it wasn't all in my head. Despite losing weight I still have this fear that I'll have to wiggle and jump to get into my jeans and the digging my bra creates will be visible underneath my shirt. I can't wait until I'm thin enough to feel good in shorts and a bikini.

My intake was much lower today than days' past. For breakfast I had 2 small kiwi's (45 cal) and 2 cups of green tea. My snack today was two bite-sized tootsie rolls, half of a granola bar and a valentine's lollipop (160 cal). For dinner I had 1.5 oz of lamb (80 cal) and a small chicken breast, cheese, and pesto sandwich (350ish calories). With -410 calories from my cardio workout my total today is 225 calories. Coupled with the fact that all my classes were over at noon I had a very good day.

And now some thinspo:

 Such a perfect body:

Bikini-themed to get us all pumped for summer weather. I know some parts of the country are heaped with snow, but other than the occasional cold-spell we're getting warmer and warmer weather here in Cali. Well, I should go start my homework...there goes my night.

Thinking thin,
~Toni

Hello All =)

So I noticed today that I have 3 new followers! Thank you guys for taking the time to follow and read my blog. It really does make my day when I see that people are interested in what I have to say, and really you guys are the only ones I can talk to about what I'm going through. Sure I can make a comment or two in passing to my friends, but I certainly can't tell them to check out my blog. So the 3-Day Diet hasn't been working out that well. I've been doing ok with breakfast and lunch. It's dinner that has been neing a bitch to me. I just can't stop myself from eating a full plate of pasta and then a brownie. Ugh it's so frustrating! The good news is that I'm sick with a sore throat. Well, maybe it's not so great but it does mean that solid food makes me want to puke, so I'm sticking to a strictly water, tea, and soup diet. All I've had so far today is 2 cups of green tea, 2 cups of water, and about 120 calories' worth of vegan chili. It feels ok, but I'm learning to dislike the feeling of being full. The problem is I don't like the feeling of being hungry yet either. I'm going to have to find a good balance between filling myself up with liquid and just enough food to tie me over through the day.

But to end on a good note I'm posting more thinspo. =)

Love these legs!: 

Day 1 of the 3-Day Diet

I feel like I've eaten so much! I had to improvise on a few things because the dining hall wasn't fully stocked with the food they normally have. So here's what the first day is supposed to look like:

Breakfast:Black Coffee or Tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal
1/2 Grapefruit or Juice
1 piece of Toast with 1 Tbsp. Peanut Butter

Lunch:
1/2 Cup of Tuna
1 Toast
Black Coffee or Tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal (optional)

Dinner:
3 Oz. any lean meat or chicken
1 cup green beans or other green vegetable
1 cup carrots
1 apple
1 cup regular vanilla ice cream (optional)
------------------------------------------------

I had...
Brunch
2 cups of water
1/2 cup of green tea with 1 packet of Equal
1 piece of sweet french bread toast with peanut butter
1 green apple

Snack
1 sheet of dried, salted seaweed

Dinner
1 cup of water
1/2 stalk of celery
2 pieces of steamed broccoli with salt and pepper
2 oz beef roast
1 piece of sourdough bread toast with margerine
1 macademia nut cookie
2 redvines


I kind of mixed lunch and dinner together, and I did a little walking downtown so I might
be fine. I just feel so full.


But anyway, I said I'd put up some thinspo today, and here it is:

 I found another picture of that girl Harlow and I like:

I'm not sure if I like it as much as the other one, but her body still looks perfect.

 I wish my legs looked this good in metallic leggings:

So that's it for today I think. I don't think I'll be eating anything else today,
but if I do I'll update the post.

Have a great night,
Toni

P.S. - I'm messing around with the look of the blog. I think it looks ok this way, but I
may tweak a few more things.

Happy 1st Day of the New Year

So I'm thinking of joining a few blogrings or posting on some other blogs about my site because I'm still my only reader, sigh... And to top it off my New Year has only been going so-so. I don't feel great or miserable, yet. I spent my last day of 2010 in Sacramento with Aaron. We went to the mall, saw Tron in IMAX 3D, and then ate in the gay district (his dad drove us to his favorite diner there). To end the night, though, Aaron lost his phone, and ont he day before we head back to college no doubt. Plus my eating is getting out of control. I must have eaten at least fifteen Redvines today! I attribute it to the fact that I won't have all of my parents' great food around in Santa Cruz but I really need to get back on track, so I spent most of the day gathering more thinspo for my albums. I decided to post some here, not that anyone besides me will be seeing them as of yet.

One of my favorites:

Well, Happy New Year...