Wednesday, January 18, 2012


100 followers! You are the best, all of you. It took me a little over a year, but 100 followers is kind of a big thing for me. I'm very very grateful for your guys' support.

But behind my happiness I'm sitting in my apartment living room, kind of falling apart. I have no fucking reason to be feeling like this at all. I'm at a loss for words. I just feel like I'm being a stupid whiny bitch for sitting here, complaining about my life when there's nothing wrong with it. I want to scream and yell and cry and sleep and run and tear things apart and say things that are on my mind that no one wants to hear and jump out of a window and scratch myself until I bleed and punch a wall and fucking eat. I want to eat and eat and eat and get rid of it ten minutes later. But everyone is here. Oliver is here. I can't be this much of an emotional wreck because I don't want to let him know how fucked up I feel. So for now I will refrain from eating anything at all and sit here with a slightly annoyed expression on my face, willing people to go away.

Thank you all for listening.

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