Friday, April 29, 2011

Dance Toni Dance

Wow, 7 comments on last night's post, and 40 followers! It's crazy how fast this blog is growing and I couldn't be more appreciative.

I'm sorry I didn't update last night. I weighed in at 124.75 lbs after I totally died in dance class. It was really awesome though. My teacher split us up into 2 groups. I was in group 2. Before all of this we learned the last couple of 8 counts to our dance, then performed it. Ok so group 1 performs and literally all of them (the group was maybe 10 girls big) forgot the end to the dance. No biggie, we just learned it. Then Group 2 goes up. I get a surge of adrenaline and perform it without a hitch, so my teacher asks if I could stay up to dance with group1 one again. So I do. Then group 2 performs again. Then we all perform together. So I performed our dance 4. times. in. a. row. It was awesome, especially since some of the dance team girls were in the room before their practice. But damn was I tired and sweaty afterward. But also hyper. It was such a great feeling.

This morning I just had a quick workout. I went 45 minutes on the elliptical and burned 475 calories then opted for a cool down on the treadmill for 20 minutes and burned another 45 calories. So 510 calories burned in total.

So far I've only had lunch (and plan to keep it that way). I had a super small salad with 1/2 tbsp of ranch (40 cal), 6 oz of black bean soup (70 cal), a really small piece of pepperoni pizza (125 cal), 3 orange slices (20 cal), a bit of coconut frozen yogurt (50 cal), and 3 snickerdoodle cookies (really they were just sugar cookies with cinnamon on top; 190 cal) for a grand total of 495 calories. Juuuuuuuust under my limit, phew!

Alright, this was just a quick post, but I'll be back later. I'm going to go outside to do some more reading on Frankenstein and a little tanning. I know, I know. It's bad. I know. But dammit my legs are so white! Can you blame a Cali girl for wanting to be thin and tan? Haha. I'll catch up with you girlies later.

♥ Toni

 Daily dose of thinspo:
Ugh I want a thin group of friends sooooo bad. 
Well, might as well try to be the thinnest if we can't all be tiny.

Oh and a dash of extra thinspo:
Was she not the epitome of elegance today? And gorgeously thin
I must say, Kate Middleton, er, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, 
is now officially on my fashion radar. This dress was perfect.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

A gap! A gap!

Haha sooooooo I've already reached capacity for calories today so I'm definitely not going to eat anymore. How you may ask? My mother and her care packages of course! She sent me a late Easter box filled with Peeps, a chocolate bunny, Snickers, Dove, and Butterfinger chocolate eggs, and tons of M&M's. Sooooooooo much candy. I've already given a couple of pieces away...and ate a few as well.

So only one meal fore me today: lunch. I had 4 oz of lentil soup (90 cal), most of a dinner roll (125 cal), and s few bites of cooked leeks and onions (20 cal). Then came the candy. One Dove peanut butter egg (65 cal), one Butterfinger egg (55 cal), and one big Snickers egg (120 cal). Seriously? That's 475 calories just from 6 items, and literally half of that was from candy. Ugh what am I going to do? I suppose I'll probably shuffle half of it off to my friends and gradually eat the rest.

So I haven't exercised yet today but I'm going to spend 15-20 minutes at the gym (hopefully on an elliptical) before dance class, which will knock out my exercise points (20). I got my food points (20), and 8 hours of sleep (dreaming about the new Deathly Hallows movie might I add; 20 pts), and I only have 3 oz left of water to drink before I get my water points (20). Yay, another 80 point day! Oh and a nice surprise for me: I was laying out on the grass outside tanning with my bestie Jenna because it's such a lovely day out today and I noticed that there's space between my legs! Granted I was lying down and it was the space between my knee and my thigh, but it's a start!

It looked kind of like this:
except definitely not as big of a gap, maybe 1/5 of that

So yeah, that's my exciting news for the day. I'll update you all on my weight real fast after I get back from dance. I'm spending the night at Aaron's so we can watch the new Office. Michael and Holly are getting married! Yay!

♥ Toni
P.S.- Speaking of weddings, royal wedding coming up in only 8 hours!
P.P.S.- 38 followers?! You girls rock. =)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Today is a gorgeous day. =)

Oh I'm sorry for not posting last night. I had a lot to read and I just didn't have time after dance class and the gym (which I was at for only 20 minutes, this...whatever sickness I have is really taking a lot out of me).

As always thank you for all the comments on last night's post. They motivate me so much! And I'm up to 35 followers! The newest one: Ana-answer. Go follow her! Show her some support on the journey we're all taking. =) 

Thin_Envy: Girl you are 111 lbs. That's 15 lbs lighter than me. I know you want to be 90 lbs but come on, I'm sure you could wear that midriff shirt right now and look great in it! Although it is always nice to have a visual reminder of your goals.

So yesterday was alright with food. I only had a piece of crustless toast with butter (110 cal) and half a grapefruit (30 cal) for breakfast. Lunch was something called Mayan pork with veggies (125 cal) and 4.5 oz of vegan chili (45 cal). That comes to 310 calories, and the remaining 190 were used up with some leftover Chinese I ate with Aaron. I didn't have a lot, just enough to wade off a growling tummy. Dance nixed 350 calories and I burned 160 on a cycle at the gym, so my intake was 500 calories and my net intake was -10 calories. I can live with that. Aaaaand my digestive system is getting back on track which means I'm losing again. 126 lbs on the scale last night. It's not much but it's enough to get lift my spirits. Getting to 118 by May 21st looks a little easier now.

I got another 80 points for the 10 Day Diet. 500 calories (20 pts), 1 hr 50 min exercise (20 pts), 2 L water (20 pts), and 8.5 hrs sleep (20 pts).

Alright so in other news I was found. Granted it was only by my boyfriend, but I thought he would make a big deal over it. Instead all he said was that all I talk about it what I eat and the 2 paragraphs he read were boring and he didn't really want to read anything else. That got me thinking: do I write boring posts? I try not to, but do I? Is there something else you all want me to touch on? I guess I could write more about my personal life, but I just don't have a very exciting life at the moment.

Ok, I'm about to go finally have some real food, but I'll catch up with you later, post my intake for today, and show some thinspo love.

I really didn't want to go to dance today because of whatever sickness I've been going through, but it made me feel a lot better. It burned 300 calories and I spent only 20 minutes on an elliptical right after and burned another 270. The scale said 125.75. It's progress I guess.

Food was ok. Despite getting my 8 hours of sleep I was really groggy at my 8 am class so I had a 10 oz coffee with a smidge of splenda, non-fat milk, and half and half (15 cal). Lunch was 7.5 oz of black bean soup (90 cal), some cooked zucchini (35 cal), a small fish patty with tartar sauce (125 cal), and a small plateful of carrot sticks (55 cal). Dinner was 1/2 of a beef tamale (45 cal), some strawberry fro yo (50 cal), and half of a brownie (75 cal) bringing my total to 490 calories and with exercise to -80 calories.

Alright I got my 8 hours of sleep, 2 liters of water, under 500 calories, and 1 hr 50 minutes of exercise, bringing me to another 80 points. It's slightly monotonous, but it's relatively easy and I'm seeing results.

As always I'm loving you girls and your comments, especially regarding what I mentioned earlier about Aaron. On the one hand I'm glad he's not very interested in my blog, but on the other it kind of surprised me that he wasn't more concerned about my dietary habits, but I guess that's due to him not caring enough to read. Oh well...
Christy: Fat and carbs? Wow I can't believe he memorized all of that!

Ok I've got work to do, so I'll leave you with this little beauty:
 I am so obsessed with stomachs! I wish I had a flatter one. =/

Hoping you girlies have a lovely night,
♥ Toni

Monday, April 25, 2011

Fresh Start: A Success

34 followers! You guys are so awesome. I'm a little stressed right now and seeing my number of followers grow is such a nice surprise. =)

Ok so for starters I broke my promise. I went to the gym after dance, but only for 25 minutes! I figured if I burn off the 500 calories I eat a day I can go to bed with a 0 (possibly negative) calorie slate. And considering I already burn off 300-350 calories a day from dance these workouts will only be 20 minutes max and not excessive.

I managed to actually do well with food today. I skipped breakfast and had lunch at 1. Because I'm getting sick I went with fruits with vitamin C. I had 2 slices of pineapple (50 cal), a kiwi (40 cal), 6 slices of orange (35 cal), and a salad with 1 tbsp of ranch dressing (90 cal). Then I went to dance and the gym which burned off 565 calories. Dinner was 2 oz of mashed potatoes (60 cal), 2 oz of flank steak (120 cal), and a small piece of pesto foccacia (75 cal) for a total intake of 470 calories and a net total of -95 calories.

The 10 Day Diet points are as follows:
8 hours of sleep (20 pts), 2 L of water (20 pts), <500 calories of food (20 pts), and 2 hours of exercise (20 pts) for my first day of 80 points!

Thank you for all the comments about starting this whole thing over. It makes me feel less like a failure and more like I'm doing something to take control over the way my eating has been. I don't think I'll have too much trouble reaching 80 points each day this go around.

Ariana: It's awesome that you're doing the 10 Day Diet with me! This way we can support each other on a day-to-day basis and have someone to go to when we feel like we're getting off track. And I even saw a few other people wanting to do it with you on your blog. 10 Day Diet fever has struck!

Harlow: Yeah I've read all the posts you put up about Rusty's exercise regimens. Maybe I'll have to start doing more noticeable intervals with my cardio. And I'm so jealous over how far you've come with your running. I just could not ever imagine myself running for 15 miles, four hours straight. You're fabulous!

Alright that's really all I have today. I weighed in at 126.5 lbs. Not where I want to be exactly but it's better than 128, which is what I thought I'd weigh today after this weekend's disaster. Right now though I have volume 1 of Frankenstein and 2 game design chapters to read plus a prototype to finish.

Someday I hope to be able to rock a 
half shirt without feeling like a pudge.

♥ Toni

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Starting All Over

Yes. I must. I have lost sight of my goals and therefore I must start all over from scratch. I'm starting the 10 Day Diet over and not. straying. at. all. I think what did it was all the exercise. Something about all that water and 2+ hours of exercise a day made my body go berserk, like it thought I was fighting for my life or something. So this weekend I let loose. I ate whatever the hell I wanted, I didn't count calories. Just today I've had Easter candy, Chinese food, a doughnut, several Lays potato chips, and a bottle of Sprite. I feel like a monster, which is only being enhanced by reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. So my goal for the next 30 days (with days 27 and 28 being my cheer tryout days) is to stick to 3 cycles of the 10 Day Diet and not screw up. I will, however, cool it on the gym time and only go Friday-Sunday since dance Monday-Thursday covers my 1 hr. I will stick to sleep the best that I can and definitely stop shoveling so much food down my throat. I can do this!

To kick start my motivation:
bikini-ready, that's what I want to be.

 Although I may have possibly bought 2 bags of chips at Safeway today, but that's ok! I'll work past it. And instead of depriving you lovely supporters of thinspo until I reach whatever goal I need to get to I'm going to start posting a picture or two of thinspo every day for motivation and then go hog wild when I get to my next weight goal. Sound good?

I hope you all had lovely Easters today. If you spent it with your family, cherish it! I spent mine in college thinking about my grandma's egg hunts and family dinners. Oh well...

Have a wonderful evening,
♥ Toni

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Lost a follower, gained a pound.

Not exactly how I wanted to start my day. I don't get it. 126.5 lbs, what? That's not possible. I still haven't calculated my total from yesterday, but I'm sure it didn't help. I think today I may attempt to just fast the whole day. I think it'll help some. And I'm going to try drinking 3 liters of water instead of the usual 2 to help push all the extra yuckies out of my body. At least I exercised for and hour and burned off 725 calories, so there's almost no way I won't be in the negatives by tonight.

Ok gotta shower and start on this damn project, I'll update later, promise.

Ok, I feel slightly depressed. Part of it is being away from Aaron, part of it is me not sticking to my guns and eating a bunch of food (I'm too scared to add up how much I ate today and yesterday), part of it is this horrid digestive system I've had the past few days, part of it is gaining fake weight, and part of it is not knowing whether or not I'll be able to change things.

I'm thinking of buying laxatives to help with this problem, because it's an actual problem. I don't want to get vulgar, but not being able to pass anything is really getting irritating. I keep thinking if I eat maybe the extra food will pass. Nope. Nothing.

Tomorrow is Easter. There's an Easter Egg Hunt in my college's meadow tomorrow from noon to 5 and I'm really excited because I won't be home to Easter Egg Hunt, but I know that means I'll probably be eating candy. Plus I'm going out for Chinese around 2 with my friends, and while I've been dying for some chow mein and some paper wrapped chicken, I know I'll probably eat a ton. No breakfast for me then. And I better burn as many calories as I can at the gym. And starting Monday I really need to restrict myself back to 500 calories a day.

Ok I'm too tired for a formal closer, so I'll end off wishing you all a happy Easter and better luck with food than I have been having.

♥ Toni

P.S.-Back to 31 followers. =) Her name is Cara, and she's just starting out with her blog. Go show her some love.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Jotting Down Thoughts Before Bed

Ok I know I said I was tired but looking over the past few days I feel like I'm not even trying to control my intake of food, like I think exercising is going to take care of all of it, and that's not true. Tomorrow will be nothing but water, green tea, and fruits and veggies, raw or cooked. If I go over 500, at least it'll be healthy. No more of this fried, fatty food crap.

On another note, I wanted to know if any of you have an opinion on age group when it comes to following blogs. There are mainly three types that I've noticed among dieting/pro-ana blogs: the teenage/high school blog, the young adult/post high school/college blog, and the adult/out of college/possibly married/possibly in the workforce blog. Do any of you have a preference? Personally I follow bloggers of various ages, but of course I mostly identify with the girls around my age (17-20). I don't know, it was just a thought, and I love all of the blogs I follow. =) Those ladies keep me strong.

Weight, Exercise, and Dancing

Official weigh-in: 125 lbs. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Well, I guess I'm not still at 127, and I've exercised every day this week, and I've been in the negatives, and I know I'll drop some weight when my digestive track gets back to normal, so I guess that's not all bad. I just want to weigh less. =(

Christy: a sea salt bath you say? Sounds tempting, and I would try it if I had 1) sea salt and 2) a bath tub. Damn my dorm bathrooms and it's endless supply of showers!

Otherwise thank you girls for the supportive comments last night. I actually just ate a little bit ago after going to the gym. I feel ok. I burned off 640 calories. I don't know my calorie count yet. I'll update on that later.

Food has been weird lately. I've been having a hard time telling whether or not I'm hungry or full. The feelings are the same. And no matter how much I do eat, I don't feel overtly full and I've been going to bed with a growling tummy. Maybe I just think I'm eating a lot? Right now I don't think I'm eating much like a disordered person. French fries, hot dogs, frozen yogurt, tacos. I mean I've really been indulging. I do think, however, that I've started to exercise like a disordered person. It's not just "Oh I'll go dance class for 90 minutes then do a little workout." It's "I'm going to dance class with the intent of being the best and then going to exercise to burn off the most amount of calories I can." I mean, I'm getting light headed a lot and my legs have been continually sore. I'm short of breath and my resting heart rate has gone up. I know this isn't normal. It's my perfectionist drive. Example: yesterday a new girl came into my jazz dance class (I prefer my jazz class much more to my modern dance class) and that sense of competition came over me. For about half the class I watched her. She was thin and pretty and I wanted to see if she was good at dancing, or at least catching on. I watched her stretch, do combinations across the floor, leaps and turns, and finally I concluded that she wasn't a threat, that she wasn't as good as me. Aren't I a self-centered egotistical bitch? At least that's what I think. Again, I'm a perfectionist. And I'm a girl. Those two traits are bound to manifest themselves into bitchiness at one point or another. I just like being the best, or one of the best. I feel like a failure any other way.

Ok I'm rambling again, and I still have more to post later. But for now I have to go, I'm taking a little shopping trip with some friends. Leggings, headbands, jeans, so much I need to buy!

Later: Alright, so I'm back from my trip. I bought leggings, but no headbands or jeans. One terrible thing about being short: jeans are nearly impossible to buy. I did get some new sports bras and cotton shorts. Yay for new exercise clothes!

When we got back to campus I indulged in a dining hall crunch wrap...on top of having two kid's scoops at Baskin Robin. Oh goody joy, I can't wait to see which number appears on the scale tomorrow. For now though, I'm too tired to calculate all that I ate. I'm sure it was horrid. All I want is sleep. Day 6 of consecutive gym time coming up tomorrow at 10 am. I hope you all are having a great start to your weekend. =)

♥ Toni

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Alright, so I don't care what the scale says but there is no way on earth I gained 2.5 lbs in one day. No way. I wouldn't say all the food in my system got me to 127 today, but I haven't gone big girl potty for over 24 hours. I just wish my digestive system would make up it's mind, or better yet go back to normal.

Trinity: the Super Slimdown Competition is something created by sunshinechild. It's a competition between several girls that started on April 1 and is going until May 20. Basically it's a competition to see who can lose the most weight in that amount of time.

Christy: Thank you for being so supportive these past few days. It's been really hard hitting the gym as often as I have been but your comments help make me stronger. =)  And I hope your fast is still going well.

Ok so again I'm in the negatives for the day. I only had one meal (lunch) around 2 pm that consisted of 2 oz mashed potatoes (110 cal), 1/2 of a hotdog with the bun (135 cal), 15 large-ish cut fries (110 cal), 3/4 of a dinner roll (105 cal), a marshmallow egg I got in my Easter basket my grandma sent me in the mail (80 cal), 3/4 of a piece of chocolate cream cake (150 cal), some pina colada fro yo (50 cal), and 4 redvines (110 cal) which comes to 850 calories. Dance was -350 calories and I burned off 775 calories on the elliptical after that so my net total for the day is -275 calories. Not terrible. I hope I can get back down to 124 by tomorrow since I know I can't be burning all of these calories and gain weight at the same time. Hopefully my body will agree with me on that and shed all the extra yuckiness in me.

Day 4 of the 10 Day Diet went as follows: 850 calories (10 points), 8 hours of sleep (20 points), 2 liters of water (20 points), 2.5 hrs of exercise (20 points). Total: 70 points. Acceptable. I don't think I'll be getting many 80 point days, but I've been in the negatives all week so I guess I don't mind too much.

So I've resolved to try out for both cheer and dance. I have a feeling I have a better chance of making cheer rather than dance, but we'll see come audition time. I only say this because from what I've heard the cheer team isn't terribly hard to make. In contrast, when I tried out for dance in the fall less than 10 girls out of over 50 who tried out made the team. Ugh...

Ok I think I'm rambling, and not in a particularly interesting way. Aaaaand I have 70 pages of a book to read before 9:30 am tomorrow. I'll check back in the afternoon and let you all know how the gym goes!

Oh BTW, I got up to 31 followers. =) You should check out my newest follower's blog, thin and bones, she posts great thinspo.

♥ Toni

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Feeling smaller, feeling sicker?

124.5 lbs today. Sooooo close. I have the feeling though that my weight tomorrow will be farther away from 124 than it was today...

I almost went for a 24 hours fast. The last time I ate was yesterday after class at 2, and I kept it up until 1 pm today. I was starving. My stomach was rumbling in 8 am lecture this morning, but some gum and 3 oz of water calmed it down, then I went for a workout at the gym and burned 755 calories.I came home, showered, then ate 540 calories' worth of food (eggplant, garlic bread, tomato bisque, and veggies), then went off to dance where I burned another 300 calories, then came back and ate more food. Nachos, I'd say 375? So my net total comes to -140 calories, although I still only get 10 points for food being over 500, 10 points for sleep (6 hrs), and 20 points for both exercise and water (2 hrs, 35 minutes and 2 liters, respectively).

Speaking of water, I've been experiencing very, er, loose stools lately, if you catch my drift. It started the night before I began the 10 Day Diet, but all the water I've been drinking hasn't been helping much, in fact I think it's making it worse. 3 days this has been going on, and I can't help but think that my weight loss may be linked to my apparent malnutrition according to my toilet. Have any of you experienced this? I think I'll wait it out until Friday (hey, I'll take any way I can to get my weight down in time for the Super Slimdown Competition weigh in). If I'm still having potty problems then I'll go to the campus health center. Having a virus or parasite would be no fun.

On a less disgusting note, today is 420! Or at least it was. I largely didn't celebrate it as I was very much against smoking before dance class, but I took a snicker doodle edible about an hour ago. So far...nothing. That's fine with me I guess, I need to get some reading done. Harriet Jacobs here I come!

Oh and yesterday I e-mailed the captain of my university's dance team and asked if there would be spring tryouts for next year. Turns out they're in early June. I've been getting more confident in my dancing and even though I didn't make the team in the fall I think I may have a shot with my improved technique and shrinking physique. So now I have a dilemma, try out for cheer, try out for dance, or plan on trying out for both? I may just suck at cheer tryouts which would give me a free conscience to go out for dance, but if I made the team I'd still really want to try dancing and I'd feel like a big traitor. The again I could just plan on trying out for dance, but if I didn't make it I'd always wonder if I could have made the cheer team, but then again they do both hold more tryouts in early fall. Ah! Decisions, decisions.

Ok lovelies, that's all I have today.

Wishing you a happy Thursday,
♥ Toni

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

On such a high right now/Reached goal weight #4

I'm so jittery right now. I haven't kept still since 7 pm. Dance class was great, my teacher once again told me ow awesome I was, but this time I knew it was from consistently being the only person to attend 4 of her dance classes a week. I just really love to dance! So anyway after getting out of the dance studio at 8:30 I decided to go to the gym (I slept in this morning so I didn't go at 8 am like I wanted, but oh well) to burn off all of the calories I ate (it was kind of a lot...). In 45 minutes I burned 560 calories. Da-amn. I took a caffeine pill before dance, and it started to kick in around 8ish and combined with the adrenaline from the elliptical...well I don't think I'll be going to sleep any time soon.

Well food was disappointing. The only plus is that I burned it all off.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Duh, the title of my post says "Reached goal weight #4." I'm back down to 125! Yesssss, so happy. =D

So anyway back to food. I managed to keep anything besides water away from my mouth until 11:30 when I got a dinner roll before my game design class. That was 145 calories. The after class, after I drank 24 oz of water and that roll, I decided to eat again with Aaron and some friends. I ended up shoving another 3/4 of a roll (105 cal), some frozen yogurt (65 cal), a corn dog (soooo unhealthy, but sooooo good, 180 cal), and some fries (180 cal) into my mouth. And when I got back to my room I had 8 redvines (225 cal). That's 900 calories. Yuck. But yours truly burned off 910 calories with dance and cardio, putting me at a total of -10 for the day, hence the 125 lbs.

I'm really hoping that tomorrow when I will definitely go to the gym at 11 am after my Lit class that I'll weight even less, because they say it's always better to weight yourself in the morning rather than at night after the food you've eaten all day has been sitting in your stomach.

!0 Day Diet day 2 went smoothly. As you can guess I went over 500 calories today (10 pts), but got in 2 hrs. and 15 min. of exercise (20 pts). I also drank a little over 2 liters of water (20 pts) and got over 8 hours of sleep last night (20 pts). Total points for Day 2: 70.

Non-food related, Aaron left for home today. =(  He's helping his dad move to a different house so he'll be gone until Monday. Six days of me being alone...well not really, I'm surrounded by friends but I still won't get to see him. I'll probably get more homework done though...

Well anyway, that's all the exciting news I have. With the way things are going I'll be posting more thinspo really soon! Stay tuned. =)

♥ Toni

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 1 of the 10 Day Diet

So I tried out the 10 Day Diet for the first time today. It went well. I got 6 hours of sleep (10 points), exercised for 2.5 hours (20 points), drank 9 fl oz of water (20 points) and ate a total of 480 calories (20 points). So out of a max of 80 points I got 70, not bad. I was just up late working on an essay, but I'll be going to bed by midnight so I can wake up bright and early at 8 am to go to the gym.

Today's food went great considering last night I went out for a friend's birthday with 13 other people to an Italian place. Most people, including myself, got calzones - big calzones. Out of all the girls (7 total including myself) I was the only one to eat their entire dinner. Everyone else kept half for later. Surprisingly I didn't feel like too much of a pig. Some of that was due to the fact that everyone was constantly saying how much I deserved to eat out and how I earned a great dinner and stuff like that. I guess it's true. Just today I burned a total of 1,065 calories from the elliptical at the gym and dance class. But I'm not slacking! I just needed a two-day buffer before starting another diet.

Food was minimal. Lunch was a small bowl of fire roasted corn soup (125 cal), and some veggies with dressing (145 cal). Dinner was a bowl of minestrone (110 cal), 1/4 cup of tapioca pudding (65 cal), and a few spoonfuls of banana/mango frozen yogurt (45 cal). My net intake today is -575 and I am desperately trying to make up for losing no weight this past week. The scale today was at 127. Something tells me that calzone has a lot to do with it...but hopefully all the bathroom trips I've had due to the massive amounts of water I've been putting into my system has pushed some of that out!

I'm crossing my fingers for a lower number on the scale tomorrow!

Hello to 30 followers! It's amazing to me to think I'm at all interesting for 30 people to read about my life on a daily basis. Thank you lovelies. =)

♥ Toni

Saturday, April 16, 2011

10 Day Diet

Sorry for not updating last night. A few of you asked what the 10 Day Diet is.
So basically it's just a point system that takes 10 days to do and promises a loss of up to 5 lbs. I think it'll be fairly easy after 30 days of the SGD. The only challenge I think I'll face is the 64 oz of water a day. I usually only drink 3-5 (gotta work on that...). I'm taking a little break from counting my calories religiously before starting this on Monday.

Yesterday's weigh in wasn't as bad as I thought. I'm basically the same weight as I was a week ago - 126 lbs. I hope this week will yield better results because I'm definitely in a better mindset than last week. My intake last night wasn't terrible. I had only eaten 100 calories of coconut frozen yogurt and burned 550 calories at the gym before going out to eat at a burger place. I just had a regular burger and some fries, probably no more than 700 calories total, so my total came to around 250 calories. Today all I've had is a small turkey sandwich from this place on campus (probably around 500 calories, but that maybe that's a slight overestimation). I think that's all I'll have today. I feel pretty content. No gym though. It's only open until 6 pm on the weekends and I have a lot of homework to do, mainly an essay due on Monday about Benito Cereno by Herman Melville. So gotta get to work! I'll catch up on everyone's blogs real quick beforehand though. Gotta keep my spirits up. =)

♥ Toni

Friday, April 15, 2011

Ups and Downs

I feel terrible about my lack of posting this week. After this is up I'm going straight to my reading list to catch up on everyone's posts. I've just been in an eating slump. I'll know how bad the damage is after I go weigh myself this afternoon, but I'm sure I'm back around 127-128. Although I'm also a little bloated due to my period, but I don't like to use that as an excuse because I almost never get the nasty side effects of my period (headaches, bloatedness, cramps, etc.). As for Monday-Thursday, I think I probably had an average of 1,300 calories each day, so my final days of SGD is shot. Overall I think it went pretty well, but I know I could have done a lot better. Next up I think I'll try the 10-day diet. It's worth a shot.

Besides my eating fails, everything else is currently going smoothly. Despite losing minimal weight since spring break I'm still getting compliments on my new physique, Aaron and I are in a good place right now, and my school work is still strong. Plus something really good happened in my jazz class last night. My dance teacher told me how much she enjoys having me four days a week and that she sees great potential in me. She even said she's going to start picking on me in class to get me to improve even more and that I should try to be in shows next year. After going through so much on my old dance team in high school (I repeatedly tried to climb the leadership ladder and failed on many occasion, serves me right for wanting to be captain of a team that I loved) it was really great to have positive feedback from a real dancer. Plus I've been trying so hard in that class after not dancing for almost a year. It just felt good to be recognized.

I'm also feeling better overall about my body, but of course I still want to be thinner. 118 is still my goal before cheer tryouts and I currently have 36 days to do it. 2 lbs. a week is all I need, and with the current eating habits I've picked up I'll definitely be looking to my blogging community to help keep me on track (that's you girls!).

As a closer I want to give a thank you to my new follower. It's awesome to know that even when I'm being neglectful of my lovely followers people are still reading, although of course I feel just awful for not updating for you lovelies that read me daily.

Alright, I'll be back later to fill you guys in on the damage of the past few days after I weigh in. See you all then.

♥ Toni

Edit: I just looked up the calories for everything I ate the past few days. I definitely overestimated the average I posted earlier, but it sure felt like I ate 1300 calories a day. Maybe that was just yesterday...

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Birthdays All Around

This past weekend was birthday central in my hall. There were so many! And last night a bunch of us went out to celebrate them at a fancy Mexican restaurant. All in all my intake wasn't terrible, but it was still over my limit. It didn't help that I had a ton to eat for brunch that morning. It consisted of chipotle beef, 1/2 of a doughnut, a banana nut muffin, hash browns, some vegan chili, lemonade, frosted flakes, and frozen yogurt. I won;t bore you with the specifics but it was 860 calories total. *Gag* But then I went to the gym and burned 750 of those calories off. Then dinnertime came. I felt so full afterwards, probably due to drinking 3 glasses of water with dinner, but still I ate a ton of chips and salsa, and the main course was 1/2 of a chimichanga (a fried burrito, how healthy of me) and beans and rice. I'm counting my total to be about 900 calories for Saturday, which is 250 over my limit of 650. Meh, I feel ok about it.

Today has been much better. I pretty much had sugar for breakfast before hitting the gym to get my metabolism working. I had 2 red vines (55cal), a cake doughnut (190 cal), and some strawberry fro-yo (55 cal). I guess it's ok because I burned 755 calories! Then I went to the dining hall with Aaron for lunch. It consisted of a BLT (345 cal), a slice of banana bread (185 cal), and one slice of cheese pizza (250 cal). I'm planning on that being it for the day due to all the homework I need to get done, so that puts me at a total of 325 calories for the day. Ugh what is it with me being over one day and then being under the next? Oh well, I shouldn't stress about it too much, I'm still losing.

That's about it for today. Nothing terribly exciting has been going on, and you know I'll update if it does.

Bye bye lovelies,
♥ Toni

P.S.- Thank you for all the lovely comments about my last loss. They always keep me going to make you all more proud!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Love this feeling!

Well girls, I did it. I'm down to 126 lbs, almost where I was at before spring break. And thank you for the inspiring comments! They really made a difference in my mood.

I felt so lazy today! I really didn't want to go to the gym, but I dragged myself there because I told myself I couldn't have any food if I didn't burn something off, so I spent 22 minutes on the elliptical and burned off 250 calories. I felt so good weighing myself after and seeing that I went down. I was stuck at 128 for almost 2 weeks. =/

And you know, it's funny. No matter how long I go without food, it really only takes the same amount to fill me up, no matter if I've gone 6, 12, or 24 hours without it. So when I ate dinner I didn't chow down the whole dining hall. I had 4 oz of veggie lasagna (145 cal), 1/2 piece of garlic bread (85 cal), and a few pieces of broccoli and cucumber with 1 tbsp of ranch (85 cal). That's it. With my workout my intake comes to 65 calories.

Alright, so it's been awhile since I posted any thinspo and I said I wouldn't post more until I got to 124, but what the hell. I'm not a fan of waiting.

Lately I've been obsessing over my legs. They're really athletic looking, and while I'm grateful for all they have done for me in the past, I want them gone. I want slimmer thighs and calves, but the more I exercise the more I worry about gaining muscle and the look of bigger legs. Anyone have any advice on the matter?

Well that's all for today. I have some homework to catch up on. Happy Friday everyone and have a great weekend!

♥ Toni

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Past Two Days

I'm sorry I haven't posted in the past couple of days! I've been caught up with too much work to post accurately, so here's the rundown of the past two days:

I was over by 185 calories. <.<
The 300 days are always the worst.
I'll just spill all the food I ate. 3/4 tbsp ranch (55 cal) with 7 baby carrots and 5 slices of cucumber (30 cal), a dinner roll (170 cal), 4.5 oz of vegan chili (45 cal), 2 redvines (55 cal), Jamba Juice 16 oz. Berry Fulfilling smoothie (140 cal, Aaron had a few sips), 1 beef taquito (70 cal), pasta (forgot which kind, 150 cal), 5 oz vegan chili (50 cal), and a peanut butter cookie (70 cal). With -350 from dance my total came to 485 calories. I was sick with disgust for myself that night.

Yesterday was much better. It definitely made up for Tuesday.
My limit was 400 and I had a workout in the morning before eating. So I was already -580 by the time I ate lunch, which was the only meal I had.
I had a beef tamale (90 cal) with 1/3 cup refried beans, 1/2 tbsp sour cream, and 1/2 tbsp guacamole (90 cal), 1 3/4 tbsp ranch with 6 baby carrots, 6 slices of cucumber, and 7 celery sticks (160 cal), 2 small chocolate chip cookies (110 cal), and 2 redvines and a risen for a sweet snack (95 cal). Then I went to dance and burned another 300 calories, and the last thing I had before bed was a large coffee with 2 tbsp plain creamer (40 cal). So my total yesterday was -295 calories. The coffee scared me though. I had it at 10 pm because I was staying up a little late to finish this game tutorial for class and by the time I went to bed (2 am-ish) I was shaking and felt like I was going to throw up. I think it was a caffeine. Funny, I just got my caffeine pills in the mail today...

So far I've been on track. I told myself I was going to fast all day today in preparation for the first Super Slimdown Competition weigh in, but I ate a little for lunch. I had 1 3/4 tbsp ranch with 5 carrot sticks, 3 celery sticks, and 3 cucumber slices (155 cal), a ciabatta roll (130 cal), a couple bites of glazed pork stuff (70 cal), and 2 redvines (55 cal) which comes to 400 calories, and after dance (-300) my total intake will be 100 calories. Not too bad.

So yeah right now is just a food post. I'll be back with my weigh-in and other fun tidbits later, promise.

Dance class was great! The caffeine pill I took really started to kick in just around that time and I was ready to let my legs go go go! I stuck to my plan and haven't eaten since lunch at 2:30, so my total today stays at 100/450. Yay. ^-^
Aaaaaand when I weighed myself I was down to 127.25 lbs. Tomorrow I plan on going to the gym after my last class around 3:30 and doing the official weigh-in for the Slimdown Competition. Can't wait! I'm praying for 126.

♥ Toni

Monday, April 4, 2011

Oh lordy

So pretty much this post is all about food. I failed. Again. I went over. Again. Granted it's not a huge spill, just 495/400 but it means I ate A LOT today. Let me explain...

Breakfast was great. I had 6 oz cream of wheat with 1/2 tbsp of brown sugar for 125 calories.

Then I went to the gym and had a pretty good workout. I burned 455 calories in 45 minutes.

Lunch was...alright. I had 3/4 cup of pasta with 2 tbsp marinara and 1/2 tbsp parmesan (150 cal), a couple of steak fries with  ketchup (75 cal), and 1 1/4 tbsp ranch with baby carrots, cucumber, baby corn, and broccoli (165 cal) for a total of 390 calories.

Then I went to class and dance, where I burned of 350 calories. The day is still good.

And then dinner rolled around...

1/2 cup sticky rice with 4 oz orange chicken (310 cal), 4 oz mashed potatoes (160 cal), 3/4 tbsp ranch with baby carrots, cucumber, baby corn, and tomatoes (115 cal), and the kicker...chocolate cream pie (200 cal) for a total of 785 calories.

Not even 805 burned calories could make up for the fact that I essentially ate 1300 calories today. I feel gross. I thought maybe today I could keep my overall intake to the 200 range. Wrong. It just means that tomorrow's workout is going to be more intense. I'm shooting for 600, and limiting my dinnertime to one plate of food only. I swear it.

And welcome new follower! Glad to have you on board. =)

♥ Toni

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Fast #2 & Update

26 followers! Thank you americaneaglelove for following and posting a comment. =)
And thanks to those who gave me support during and after my fast. Since I'm planning on not working out this weekend I've decided to do another one that will be broken before I either go to the gym or dance class tomorrow.

So I don't think I kept as good of track over yesterday's intake, but it wasn't enough to put me over so I'm just going to say I was at intake which was 650 calories.

I don't really know what to post today. I'm kind of at a loss for words because all I did yesterday was literally ate breakfast then stayed in bed all day. I did homework mostly and cuddled with Aaron. It was pretty unproductive, so today I'm going outside with some friends because it's really nice and we're going to have a homework session in the meadow right next to the dining hall. Plus I'm going to try to get a tan. It takes a lot for me to tan so I don't think I'll see much progress. Haha.

Well you know me, I'll keep you all posted.

♥ Toni

Dang! Now I'm up to 27 followers! That's 3 new followers in the past, what, 5 days? My newest one is Jennie. You guys should check out her blog. She's just starting up a new one after her last one was discovered so go show her some love. ♥

So this fast wasn't as successful as the last one. Pretty much all I did was go all day without eating until dinnertime. The last fast I did was 36.5 hours. This one was 19.5 hours. I went from last night at 9 pm to today around 4:30 pm. Meh. Food was under limit. I had a slice of pumpkin pie (200 cal), a hot dog (190 cal), some tortilla chips (50 cal), 8 oz of root beer (100 cal), and 2 pork ribs (140 cal) for a total of 680 calories out of the 700 I was allowed. Looking back they don't look like very healthy foods, but my explanation is down there. vvv

For some reason I just felt really good about myself today. Obviously eating all that food has made me feel a little bloated, but before that I was pretty good. I went out tanning (and unfortunately christy, I did get a slight sunburn) with some friends and just had a good time. I put on a bandeau I hadn't worn in two years and even with the top clasped as tight as it would go it was still a little big. I'm feeling better about my body and I just want it to keep going. If I feel like this at 127 I can only image how ecstatic I'll feel at 118. I'm walking taller, fitting into my clothes better, and my mood is up a lot more from spring break. It was a very good day.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Great Start to April

Up to 25 followers! Thank you Victoria for deciding to follow me. I love your blog and your sassy spirit. ♥

So the fast was successful! And surprisingly as the day went on it actually got easier. Tons of water and tea plus dance class was my savior yesterday, otherwise I don't think I could have done it.

All in all my fast lasted from March 30 at 9:00 pm to April 1 at 9:30 am. A total of 36.5 hours. I thought I might be able to extend it a little longer but I went to the gym with some friends and I knew I had to eat something, so I settled for 4 oz of oatmeal with 3/4 tbsp of brown sugar (100 cal) and a banana nut muffin (170). My workout burned 420 calories which puts me at -150 calories so far. I don't know if I'll be eating any more food today but I'll keep you all posted. Weighed in at 127.5 lbs so that made me feel a little better. Plus last night at dance class I wore these leggings that I bought from Rue 21 in January that didn't fit me so well and noticed that they definitely fit better. Pluses all around.

♥ Toni

Later: For lunch I had a little bit of a splurge. I had one beef tamale (90 cal), strawberry frozen yogurt (100), a bagel with one side cream cheese and one side butter (240 cal), some trail mix (50 cal), and a surprise treat. For once in my own dining hall there was homestyle ranch! I've only ever found it in other dining halls and it's never been in ours. I was so excited I just had to have some, so I had 3/4 tbsp of it and 8 carrots, some cucumber, and 3 baby corn (115 cal) factor it into the -150 from earlier and my total for the whole day is 445 calories, just 5 calories under my allowed total. Sigh...I'll try to do a lot better tomorrow.

Some good news though: I got a lot of comments on my weight today. It was kind of weird actually. My roommate and 4 other friends just all happened to say my waist looked little or my shorts looked baggier or my tummy was flatter. It was nice, and it's just giving me more motivation to do better. Hope you're all fine and well!