Screw It.

I might as well finish the 30 Day Challenge I dragged out into a whole summer.


Day Thirteen- Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
I suppose I'll be going about it the unhealthy way now.

Day fourteen- What’s your UGW? When you expect to reach it?
112 lbs. I want to reach it by the end of next quarter, which is some time in March.

Day Fifteen- Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?
No. I like meat and dairy too much. I tried and failed miraculously some time last year and decided after a week that it wasn't for me.

Day Sixteen- When did you first decide to lose weight?
Well I started this weight loss blog last December, but for the past 6 months I haven't been keeping up with my weight loss regimen, so I'm starting again now, today.

Day Seventeen- Do you have an eating disorder?
I consider myself ED/NOS at times. As of this very moment, no, I do not have an eating disorder, but once you go through a period of your life where you have disordered eating it's very hard not to carry that with you the rest of your life. At various times it'll just pop back up unexpectedly and there's really no telling when it could happen.

Day Eighteen- What food is your weakness?
Bread. No doubt about it. Bagels, potato bread, rolls, buns, ciabatta, baguettes, whatever you can think of really.

Day Nineteen- When is the last time you ate fast food?
Maybe a week ago? And it was Taco Bell.

Day Twenty- Favorite diet?
I rather enjoy the Skinny Girl Diet, but in general I like to keep my net calories under 800 every day.

Day Twenty-One- What are your clothing sizes?
I wear a small or medium shirt, dress, and skirt, depending on the brand, and anywhere from a size 4-8 in pants.

Day Twenty-Two- What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?
The summer before my freshman year I had my first brief flirtation with ED/NOS. I got down to 118 lbs. I gained because I got lazy I guess. I made my high school's dance/drill team and that consumed a lot of time.

Day Twenty-Three- Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?
Not this time, no. Sure, thinspo helps, but I want to be the size I said I was going to get down to.

Day Twenty-Four- How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia?
I'm ok with them. I'm well-aware that what I do is more of a lifestyle choice than an actual real-life disorder, but I'm sure it's a mix of both. I don't actively call what I post pro-ana or pro-mia, but I can see the appeal of that kind of branding.

Day Twenty-Five- Have you ever purged? If you have describe your first experience.
Yes. I'm not sure if this contradicts an earlier post of mine, because if very well might, but I believe my first successful purging took place last year. It was ice cream. It was still cold when it came up and didn't taste very different than it did going down. Since then the only other times I've successfully purged have been with ice cream.

Day Twenty-Six- What excites you most about reaching your ugw?
To be honest, I don't know. I want the cellulite to go away. I want to know that I can contort myself into any pose and not one part of me will look fat. I want a flat stomach and thighs that don't touch. I want my boobs to be small enough so that I don't have to wear a bra if I don't want to. And if I'm being honest, I want to be thinner than the girl Oliver had sex with. Is that stupid and vain? I think it is, but I still want it. I want to be able to know I can keep myself in check, that I can change something and that it's entirely in my hands to do so.

Day Twenty-Seven- How do you deal with being around food?
Well, we'll have to see, won't we?

Day Twenty-Eight- Do you want that “gap” between your legs? Why?
Yes. Because it'll mean that I'm thin.

Day Twenty-Nine- Your definition of beauty.
I'm still trying to figure that one out. Rose Byrne is a good example, though.

Day Thirty-  10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?
I'll save this for tomorrow.

-Toni