Will I ever get the hang of this?

I ate outside of my rules today. I had dinner...real dinner. And I felt so good about yesterday too. =(

I was doing so well too! Breakfast was 4.5 oz of yogurt with 1 tbsp granola and 30 blueberries (195 cal) plus 8 oz of coffee with equal and plain creamer (30 cal). Good.
Lunch was a green apple (30 cal), 2 pieces of pineapple (40 cal), and 1/2 cup of mango pieces (55 cal). Good.
Dinner was 3 mini cinnamon buns (190 cal), 8 oz of hot chocolate with whipped cream (150 cal), a small serving of spaghetti (120 cal), and a piece of flatbread pizza (175 cal). BAD.
Despite this big weakness, I burned 300 calories at the gym this morning and another 350 at dance, so my total is only 380 calories for the day. Good. Would have been better if I had just stuck to shrimp chowder, but whatever.

I weighed in at 125.25 lbs this morning after my 9 am workout. I was hoping for a lower number...and now with this pig out I had I'll be lucky if I'm any smaller tomorrow. Seriously, I'm going to try to survive on just coffee until 5 pm, which is when my modern dance class is over. It makes me pee like nothing else, which is good because the less water weight the better.

I have no crazy rants to go on this evening except this annoying thing I like to call: roommates and their friends. Currently I have 6 extra people in my room who are being hella loud and I'm definitely trying to go to sleep by midnight tonight considering I have to get up at 7 to go to my 8 am class. I'm...really tired of having roommates to be honest. I'll be so happy when I'm just rooming with Jenna next year in the apartments. And to top it off, they dissed the goddess that is Nicole Richie.

I mean, come on, is she not perfection?

Whatever, I still like her.

Homework, Movies, Books...Typical Saturday

So my roommate's having kind of a mini meltdown about this afterparty she's going to. She feels fat because she's on her period and some of her friends and I have been trying to get her into various outfits with no luck. At this point she's gone through maybe 6 or 7 different outfits. Sweaters, jeans, dresses, leggings, heels, flats. She's decided on dark blue jeans and an Adidas hoodie. I'm expecting her to change one or two more times. Just something interesting I thought I'd share.

My day has been uneventful for the most part. I woke up around 11:30 and had barely anything for breakfast before starting on some homework. Then around 5 I headed off for another film shoot, the one my RA is the director of. I did some audio but for the most part I wasn't needed and got to curl up with Wasted. Then around 8 I ate dinner with Aaron and came back here. Typical day. Tomorrow I'm pretty sure I'll be going to the gym.

So breakfast today consisted of 5 mini cheddar rice cakes (40 cal) and a wedge of swiss cheese with 3 bagel crisps (100 cal) for a total of 140 calories. I have no clue how that tied me over from noon until 8:30, but it did (although I did start to get hunger growls and pangs). Dinner was a cup of spaghetti with 1/4 cup tomato sauce (215 cal), a half piece of garlic bread (85 cal), 10 carrot sticks with mustard (I thought I'd try it; I'll stick to just the plain carrots - 35 cal), and a frozen yogurt swirl of strawberry and orange in a sugar cone (140 cal) for a dinner total of 475 calories and a grand total of 615 calories, 35 under my goal for today. Huzzah!

So I was thinking about my mom earlier today. We're almost exactly the same height (I'm maybe 1/2 inch taller than her) but I know I'm much bigger than she was when she was 18. I've seen pictures and was very petite, nit just in height but in weight as well, so I asked her what she weighed when she was my age. 98 lbs! She was tiny. In comparison I'm 33 lbs. heavier than her when she was my age. Sigh... Trust me though, she eats, and she ate back then, she just had a super fast metabolism. After having two kids though...well let's just say she weighs more than I did at my highest. She's trying to get her weight down though, and good for her for wanting to. If I used to be as thin as she was I'd want to be thinner too. But if she was that small I know I can definitely get down to my UGW, and maybe even a little less. We can all do it!

I believe in you all,
♥ Toni

P.S. - Thank you for the comments on my late-night ramble. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in some of my self-reflecting craziness.

This week was shit.

That's really my biggest reason for not posting this past week. I've had so many things go wrong in the past 7 days, and only a handful of things go right. Let's start with the weight. I slipped up for a day or two last weekend, but got back on track by the start of the week. Good, right? Apparently the scale hasn't taken my dedication to heart yet. Instead of losing the pond or two I thought I would this week, I gained weight. And that's only the base of why I'm pissed off at the world.

On Wednesday I left for class really late (I accidentally slept in) and forgot to grab my school ID (which doubles as my room key). I come back 90 minutes later knowing one of my two roommates would still be sleeping, but even though I called them each 10 times no one answered. I pounded on the door for a good 10 minutes. POUNDED. And nothing, so I went down to get a temp card, my 3rd temp card this year, which means the next one I get I'll have to pay for it, and got back into my room. What do I see but one of my roommates asleep in her bunk. I was PISSED. There's absolutely NO WAY she didn't hear me banging on the door and calling her repeatedly. She's one of the lightest sleepers I've ever met. And on top of that I had left her a voicemail when I called telling her I was locked out. It's been 3 days, so she must have heard it by now. She hasn't said a word to me about it, so I'm pretty much not talking to her. This isn't even the first thing she's done to piss me off. She gets drunk all the time - to the point of throwing up and pissing her pants - and allows her friends to touch and mess with my things. I'm really done with her at this point. It's ridiculous.

Besides that I had a bogus pop quiz in my film class. The TA thinks no one reads the chapters the teacher assigns, so instead of asking us he gave us a quiz. Lovely, since I did all the reading but didn't understand it (film theory can be pretty difficult to sift through), so of course I couldn't answer any of the questions.

And the icing on top of the cake happened last night. I was sleeping over at Aaron's when we decided to go to sleep at 11:30, pretty early if you ask me. We were supposed to get up at 8, meaning I'd get a good 8 1/2 hour rest. This would have been the case if his roommate didn't stay up until 4 am playing WOW in his laptop. That wasn't the bad part, the fact that he was constantly pounding on the keys kept me up all night. I can fall asleep fairly well when people are typing on the computer, but he was shoving his fingers into the keys. I actually ended up crying because I was so tired and couldn't sleep, not to mention Aaron didn't do a thing about it. Every time I would get close and...type, type, type, type, hit the keys, type, type, type. So instead of 8 hours, I got 4.

Oh and another minor annoyance. I bought this really cool water bottle last weekend and lost it within 3 days. WTF.

The only good news I can come up with is the fact that I got a 100% on my Intro to Logic quiz. I was pretty excited, especially when I realized the quiz wasn't as easy for some people as I thought it was. Same with one of my midterms for another class. I ended up with an 86%, but out of a class of 35, only 9 got a B or above. So I guess in comparison my academic life is doing much better.

Sorry to rant. This week has just been the first truly awful week of my college life. I needed to share it with someone.