Temptation

^^^It's the word of the day, since today was full of it. With yesterday's success all I could think about today was food (and more importantly how I would keep myself from eating more than 400 calories of it). I succeeded, but it was everywhere! Especially at dinner time.

I've been keeping busy with things like my last final for the quarter (which was the easiest thing I've ever taken; I finished before 90% of the class with another 2 hours left). I've also been preparing to go home and reading. But with all that I'm still surprised I kept my intake under my allowed calories for the day.

Breakfast was the usual half bagel with butter (100 cal) and a serving of cinnamon toast crunch with 3 oz of 2% (175 cal) which totaled 275 calories. Dinner was harder. Everything looked good. Chow mien, a taqueria, pizza, caramel and ice cream (or apples, or cookie, or bananas...), barbecue chicken, banana cream pudding. I could go on and on. But alas, I settled on a dark-leaf lettuce and spinach salad with veggies and 2 tbsp of ceasar dressing (105 cal) and raspberry tea. Good girl, Toni. My accumulated total for the day ended up being 380 calories, 20 under my goal. Phew.

Tomorrow I'm planning on working out in the morning to kick start my travels home. I'm riding home with Aaron and his dad and I have no idea if they're going to stop for dinner, plus if they don't I have no clue what my family intends to have for dinner, so I'm trying to be safe. 750 seems like a good number to burn. And on the topic of going home I feel like next week may see a lot of red numbers on my SGD Progression page. I'm going to have to find some way (especially on really low cal days) to avoid food until dinner. Easy enough, my parents both work most of the day and my sister will still be in school. I'm just dreading how close all the food is going to be!

Alright so that's my rant for the day. You guys will no doubt be keeping my hungers at bay for the most part this next week. I don't want to log on to tell you all I've failed for even one day!

♥ Toni

Homework, Movies, Books...Typical Saturday

So my roommate's having kind of a mini meltdown about this afterparty she's going to. She feels fat because she's on her period and some of her friends and I have been trying to get her into various outfits with no luck. At this point she's gone through maybe 6 or 7 different outfits. Sweaters, jeans, dresses, leggings, heels, flats. She's decided on dark blue jeans and an Adidas hoodie. I'm expecting her to change one or two more times. Just something interesting I thought I'd share.

My day has been uneventful for the most part. I woke up around 11:30 and had barely anything for breakfast before starting on some homework. Then around 5 I headed off for another film shoot, the one my RA is the director of. I did some audio but for the most part I wasn't needed and got to curl up with Wasted. Then around 8 I ate dinner with Aaron and came back here. Typical day. Tomorrow I'm pretty sure I'll be going to the gym.

So breakfast today consisted of 5 mini cheddar rice cakes (40 cal) and a wedge of swiss cheese with 3 bagel crisps (100 cal) for a total of 140 calories. I have no clue how that tied me over from noon until 8:30, but it did (although I did start to get hunger growls and pangs). Dinner was a cup of spaghetti with 1/4 cup tomato sauce (215 cal), a half piece of garlic bread (85 cal), 10 carrot sticks with mustard (I thought I'd try it; I'll stick to just the plain carrots - 35 cal), and a frozen yogurt swirl of strawberry and orange in a sugar cone (140 cal) for a dinner total of 475 calories and a grand total of 615 calories, 35 under my goal for today. Huzzah!

So I was thinking about my mom earlier today. We're almost exactly the same height (I'm maybe 1/2 inch taller than her) but I know I'm much bigger than she was when she was 18. I've seen pictures and was very petite, nit just in height but in weight as well, so I asked her what she weighed when she was my age. 98 lbs! She was tiny. In comparison I'm 33 lbs. heavier than her when she was my age. Sigh... Trust me though, she eats, and she ate back then, she just had a super fast metabolism. After having two kids though...well let's just say she weighs more than I did at my highest. She's trying to get her weight down though, and good for her for wanting to. If I used to be as thin as she was I'd want to be thinner too. But if she was that small I know I can definitely get down to my UGW, and maybe even a little less. We can all do it!

I believe in you all,
♥ Toni

P.S. - Thank you for the comments on my late-night ramble. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in some of my self-reflecting craziness.

My week so far:

It's been a little hectic around here lately. Midterms are coming up and study time + homework has prevented me from going to the gym the past two days. I've been trying to cut down on my food intake and I think I'm doing alright. Yesterday's breakfast was probably the worst. I had half a Belgium waffles with butter, syrup and whipped cream. It was so delicious though. I haven't had a waffle in ages. I skipped lunch and instead had two bananas as snacks throughout the day, and for dinner I had some broccoli beef with white rice and a beef tamale. Today has been going much better so far. I didn't have time for breakfast so I rushed out the door with half a banana. I absolutely hate eating alone so when I went to sit down with some friends with my lentil soup and they all had to leave for class I left too with only 5 spoonfuls eaten from my bowl. Right now I'm currently enjoying a cup of green tea and anxiously awaiting my care package my mom is sending me, complete with an entire box of tea, toothpaste, cookies, brownies, laundry detergent, I think some candy, and whatever else she thinks I'll like. I'm so excited for it to come! My parents haven't sent me anything since I started college, so I'm really looking forward to this.

Other than that I thought it was time for some thinspo:

It's very nature inspired today.

Well if there's anything more to post I'll be back later. Just thought I'd let you all in on how I'm doing.

~Toni