Update on last night:

So...yeah, I know I forgot to update. And the update itself isn't very pretty.

After dance class I weighed in at 124.75. Up 1.25 lbs. Sigh...
And then as I was on the bus Aaron called. He ended up getting at another stop and convinced me to go eat with him at a dining hall, so I did, and had Special K, a piece of pizza, a brownie, and 3 cookies. It's not much, and I know my total is less than 1000, but I felt pretty shitty afterwards.

I think for the next two weeks I'm going to give the 10 Day Diet a little break. I think I'll just stick to having a net total of 500 or below and I'll be happy. And I think my goal for cheer tryouts is going to change to 120 lbs instead of 118, but 115 is still ideal for dance tryouts. I've just been so overwhelmed lately and I need a break from putting my body through so much stress.

I think my weigh in today will be satisfactory. It'd be awesome to be back down to 123.5, but a solid 124 will please me. I'm not going to eat until after my midterm (that whole "you perform better on tests after you've eaten" just never really applied to me) and burn maybe 400-500 calories and then weigh in. I think that'll get me down to something I like.

Ok, I'm off to read everyone's posts before I go get some sun and then head off to my midterm. Thank you for all the support on that! I think it should be fairly easy, just 100 multiple choice questions, but you never know!

Motivation to keep me going:

I love it when you can tell a girl is still thin under a baggy t-shirt.

I'll catch up with you guys after my workout!

♥ Toni


Update #1
I saw it: 123.5! It was a nice little surprise to behold. And I was planning on getting a smoothie after my workout (burned 525 calories in 45 minutes!), especially after seeing that number, but a bunch of us are going out to an Italian restaurant for a friend's birthday, so I'll try to keep it under 800. Maybe I'll split a dish with someone. Too much pasta fills me up like nothing else, except maybe pancakes. =/

Ok, update #2 will come after dinner. Wish me luck!

Good Day, Bad Night

Sorry I didn't post last night. Aaron was over and I also had a project to finish, so between all that and wanting to get enough sleep I couldn't post.

Yesterday I wanted to wait until after dance to eat anything. Yeah, right. I ate probably 3 hours before I weighed in and had 4 chicken nuggets, french fries, and some veggies. Ummmm, can you say unhealthy? But despite that I weighed in at 123.5 lbs. What?! Really? I couldn't believe it. I still can't really believe it. But you wouldn't believe how much sweat I was soaked in afterwards. That dance studio is hot. So I went for a nice swim with Aaron and some friends. I felt accomplished. So I ate. A lot. Pizza, cereal, orange chicken, 3/4 of a burger. Ugggggggggggh. I didn;t even bother figuring out how many calories it all was because I'm positive it was over 1000 total. Great, it'll take a miracle for me not to gain today.

In an attempt to eat as little as possible but still not feel overly hungry I've only had a lemon poppyseed muffin and a cup of orange juice so far. Carbs and fruit juice: I think it's a good combo.

I'm sorry but this post will have to be short for now. I'm currently juggling trying to pay attention in class, Aaron being extremely annoying, writing postcards to send to my relatives for various birthdays/Mother's Day, and writing this. Can I just get a day where I don't have to do anything??? That's not a huge request, right? At least I have a cancelled class tomorrow, but I also have a midterm. Awesome.

Ok, I'll update later. Thank you for all the great comments on Tuesday's post. You girls are lovely. =)

Goal Weight #3 Reached!

Alright...get ready for it...I have good news.

I got on the scale after my workout today and...127.0 lbs!!! Areyoufuckingkiddingme?! I was over the moon with happiness. I kept thinking "There's no way I'll be down 4 pounds. Maybe I'll be 129 at best. I'll be happy with 130 even," but no, 127! I'm "normal" again, 24.8 BMI. It was truly a great day.

Besides that I had my film final which I think I did ok on plus had really good workout. I burned 655 calories and my limit today for SGD is 300, so I'm doing really well.

Breakfast was just a serving of cinnamon toast crunch with 2 oz of 2% (160 cal), 2 pieces of pineapple (50 cal), and half a bagel with butter (100 cal) for a total of 310 calories. Dinner was 3 oz. of lamb (225), a piece of roasted potato (30 cal), a cup of zucchini (45 cal), and 4 oz of root beer (50) for a total of 350 calories. I ended burning almost all of it off at the gym and my grand total for today (although it may or may not change depending on later tonight) is 5 calories. That's 295 calories under my limit and I may just keep it that way. I know some friends will be eating after their finals later, so I'll keep you posted on my intake if it changes.

I finished Wasted. The ending was a bit abrupt and I got really scared when I got to the part where Marya reached fifty-five pounds, but overall it was one of the best books I've read in a while. I highly recommend it even for those who are just looking for a good book to read for leisure, not necessarily eating disorders or anything like that.

Alright so in celebration for today and as a hearty good-bye to winter I have some thinspo to share!

Ok, that's all I have for today. I hope your day has been just as good as mine! And if not I'm sending you lots of good thoughts.

♥ Toni

Finals Week is Right Around the Corner

So for some reason I'm super excited about finals week. I'm done with one of my classes so all I have to worry about now is finishing up my essay (which I will totally get straight to work on after this post), studying for my film final, doing my philosophy homework, and taking my philosophy final (not much of a need to study because I could get a C on it and still pass the class with an A). Plus I have some articles to read and movies to watch, but the weekend has a whole 48 hours in it. After next week there's spring break and I get to go home and see my family, and then Spring Quarter!

Olivia: No I don't go to a music school. I once wanted to apply to Juilliard until I found out I wanted to make films for the rest of my life, not music. I go to a UC, which is a California University. There's something like 9 or 10 different ones like UC Irvine or UC Berkeley or UC San Diego.

Food was right on track today. I skipped breakfast and had lunch around noon. I had a medium salad with minimal ranch dressing (95 cal), 1/2 of a bagel with butter (90 cal), and a couple spoonfuls of coconut/chocolate frozen yogurt (30 cal) for a total of 215 calories. For dinner I had 6 oz. of tomato, potato, and basil soup (120 cal) and 3/4 of a small fish patty (for slider sandwiches; 55 cal) for a total of 175 calories and a grand total of 390 calories for the day, 10 under my goal. =)

I'm really excited to see how I progress through the SGD. I literally cannot wait to hit the 127.5 lb mark. It's the maximum weight for my height (5'0") to be in the "normal" BMI range of 18.5-24.9, and at that weight I'm right at 24.9. I can't remember the last time I was in the 120's, probably sometime in my sophomore year of high school. What's crazy is that even though I weighed so much less when I was a freshman (I was at my lowest = 118 lbs), I feel like I look thinner now (or maybe just more proportional, although still chunky). Aaron agrees with me. It might be the muscle I have now from the years in dance or just weight distribution. I don't even know, but I'm a little anxious to see what I'm going to look like once I hit that weight again.

Haha sorry for the little weight ramble, I'm just a tad over ecited for the months to come.

♥ Toni

P.S.-I'll be sure to put up more thinspo soon!