Where has my will power gone?

Man, I don't understand how some girls can lose 3-4 lbs per week. I'm lucky if I lose 1 lb a week and 5 lbs in a month, but I guess I'm getting to the point where I'm small enough that I don't lose weight as quickly as I used to. Needless to say I've been fucking up the SGD. I feel like at this point I'm just eating what I want and not caring that I'm even on the SGD. I couldn't even stay in the limits for Saturday and Sunday. Actually, I don't even know how much I ate Sunday. That was the day I came home from college, so today was my first full day back home for the summer. But anyway yesterday I had half of a pepperoni calzone, a raspberry lemonade, a scoop of raspberry cheesecake ice cream, and a pork springroll. Only 4 things with calories and I'm sure it totaled over 1000. Sigh...at least this time last week I was a solid 125 lbs and today I fluctuated between 122.5 and 123.5. I count that as good.

Food-wise, today was slightly better. I worked up a sweat unpacking in this heat and I went for a little run before dinner. So that's gotta count for something. I tried not to eat too much before dinner. I find that when I'm home it's fairly easy for me to eat little throughout the day until dinner, and then I only eat a moderate portion of food. It usually has pretty good results and I lose weight. So today I had coffee with sugar and creamer (totally not my usual fat free milk and Equal; 55 cal), a home made cookie (90 cal), 6 Triscuits (120 cal), and 15 strawberries (25 cal). The strawberries are from my parent's farm and I haven't had them in so long. They tasted heavenly and will probably be one of my major safe foods all summer. I especially like to eat them when I'm picking them for the markets we do. So anyway around came dinner. Grilled everything. 2.5 oz grilled chicken (105 cal), grilled lettuce (20 cal), 3 pieces of grilled sourdough baguette (140 cal), and miscellaneous bites of food throughout the day (140 cal). Plus I walked/ran 2.1 mi around my neighborhood. 5 minutes of that was walking (-22 cal) and 18 minutes of that was running at 6 mi/hr (-168 cal), so a total of 190 calories burned. This would put me at exactly 450 calories, but then I had a home made strawberry milkshake. I want to say that's 230 calories. So my total intake for the day was 870 and my net intake was 680 calories. Blah. I really need to start controlling this food thing.

Fat chance. I went grocery shopping with my mom today and we bought bagels, cream cheese, rootbeer and Shasta Tiki Punch soda, Choco Tacos, and Klondike Bars. Good news: I had her get nonfat milk (for my coffee, whoop!), reduced fat cream cheese, celery, skinny cow spreadable swiss, and turkey. There was some other stuff too but I most likely won't eat a lot of it.

Tomorrow's plan of attack: waking up around 7:30 to take an hour long walk/run, come back and shower, pick up Jenna around 10 to go shopping (for new bras, running shoes, and dance attire for my summer classes), then go to class and come home. Hopefully food won't be in there much.

And another very good thing happened last night/today. Ok, so there's something you have to know about my parents and Aaron, neither really likes the other, especially my dad and Aaron. My mom is eh about it but my dad really doesn't like him. It's not like he's a jerk or anything, he just says the wrong thing...a lot. But last night my dad said that because I'm growing up (just turned 19) and just spent a year away from home doing my own thing that he's going to be more lenient about Aaron, especially because we're not living in the same town this summer. We both grew up in out hometown but Aaron's dad had to move about 40 minutes away so we won't be spending as much time together, but my dad said it was ok if I spent the day/night over there sometimes. I was floored. I thought I'd have to convince him for weeks to let me go visit him, but there he was telling me I could right off the bat. And today I asked if I could go Wednesday night and stay until Thursday evening and he said yes! I'm so excited! And Aaron lives in a big city too, the state's capital if that gives you any clues. So I think we might go clubbing with a friends from college who also lives there. I've never gone but I have the perfect LBD that I actually look good in now.

Damn ok so this post is already long, but I have to respond to comments.
Elbar7a: I can definitely see why you've never had Coldstone. If you did you'd probably never want to leave (like me). It takes me at least a good 10 minutes to decide what I want because everything looks good (and subsequently full of calories).
Amber: Yes, Olivia Lee and I are going to the same college next year but she'll be a year ahead of me. Haha I'm glad you remember. And yeah I have the feeling most of us would get along quite well if we all met in person. In fact it wold be awesome to meet you in person. You're one of my favorites.
Olivia Lee: Ditto. The rest of my weekend was full of packing and driving and hot weather. You were definitely one of the best parts of the weekend.

Ok, that was a lot of stuff. I congratulate you if you made it through to this part. So I have some much overdue thinspo:

No real theme, just stuff I like and what I thought you lovelies would like.

Here's to a better tomorrow,

♥ Toni

P.S.-Welcome Kate and JT! Thank you for signing in and following this journey of mine. =D