Tuesday, June 28, 2011

This is not how I expected my summer to go. Someone please save me.

I haven't been sticking to the SGD. I haven't even been counting calories. I'm just eating and if I eat too much and gain weight I eat less, so my weight has stayed at about 122 lbs. Yesterday it was up to 125.5. I suppose it's weight fluctuations but I still feel horrible about the fact that I haven't lost any permanent weight in over a month. I. better. not. be. plateauing. Fuck.

I guess this would be good...if I didn't want to lose another 10 lbs. I want to be thinner, not weigh the same all summer. I just keep eating. It's so hard to resist at home where my parents are watching me all the time. But I work from noon to 8:30 tomorrow so I think I'll just stick to water. I want to be 120 by the end of the week.

If I had to guess I'd say I had maybe 1,200 calories today. Not good enough. It doesn't help that it was raining all day so I couldn't go outside and jog. I did some exercises in my room but they were mostly muscle building exercises, not the cardio I need to do to burn this fat off.

It's only 10pm and I'm already tired. I got 8 hours of sleep last night but I guess this past sleep-deprived week is catching up to me. I'm already tired of summer being more busy than the school year. This is not how my break was supposed to go, and when dance classes start up again next week my days will be even more packed. Great...

I hope I have better news for you all tomorrow (if I post, sorry I've been lagging in that department). I hope I'm not getting depressed, that's the last thing I need right now. Thank goodness for Daniel Tosh. He's one funny man. And not too bad on the eyes either. ;)

1 comment:

  1. When you restrict to the point of physical starvation, your body will automatically cling to any and ALL calories that you DO provide, which explains the weight gain (which is not simply fluctuation but your body attempting to prevent itself from caving in). I am a woman in recovery, and my blog is about what it takes. Please, consider reading it, and following if you so choose.