I'm not going to fuck today up.

I'm sorry I didn't post last night. I need to get out of the habit of skipping days on the blog.

Thank you ALL for all of your lovely comments: Scarlett, Nichole S., Adrian, Thin or Not, Gianni, Christy, Olivia Lee, Sofia, Amber, Violet, Peanut, and Kat not Jas. Wow, you girls are just amazing and I'm really glad I joined blogger back in December because you are all beautiful and awesome - awesome followers and fellow bloggers!

Up to 58 followers! Wasn't it just a few days ago that I hit 50? I'm really excited that my blog is growing. ^_^

So yeah it turns out my night spent with Aaron Tuesday night was probably my last for the whole summer. He's already left school because he's done with all of his finals and was supposed to be going to his uncle's funeral in L.A. today, but they got a flat tire so they ended up just going to Sacramento, which is where they moved to. I used to be able to walk to Aaron's house in less than 10 minutes and now I'll only see him once a week maybe! But I guess it's a good thing, he thinks a little time away may make our relationship better, plus we'll be living closer to each other next school term when we come back to university. Plus I can focus more on working my two jobs and going to dance class if he's not around to distract me.

I officially ended school yesterday when I e-mailed my TA my last essay and now I have three days to pack until I leave for home. My first year of college is already over. It went by so fast! Ugh I'm tired of growing up and seeing the world fly by, but such is life.

Food hasn't been great. Every day I have a set plan but someone always cajoles me into eating and I feel horrible afterwards. Thankfully I've been losing weight (down to 123.75 as of yesterday), but not as much as I hoped I would. To be honest I ate after I posted on Monday, so my -10 net intake was probably somewhere more around 600. I'm not sure. Tuesday I went to the dining hall after I calculated all my calories. I was under my limit and all I was going to have was coffee, but I ended up eating cheesy bread, a giant bowl of frosted flakes, and tri tip. Yesterday wasn't much better. I didn't know the university gym closed early this week so I only had 20 minutes on the elliptical. I burned 260 calories (I pushed myself as hard as I could go) and decided to, and this might sound crazy, run the track. I don't run. I hate running. But I ran. And I did a mile in something like 10.5 minutes and burned another 90 calories. So to make up for my lack of exercise yesterday I'm going back today once the overcast was dissipated and I'm going to run 2 miles, spend an hour on the elliptical, then run another 2 miles. That should burn over 1000 calories easily.

So last night's eating I can totally add up and tell you. I was saving most of my food until "dinner" (if you can even call it that). To celebrate the end of finals Jenna and I were going to pig out on Totino's pizza rolls. This was before I had to cut my workout short. I for breakfast I had eaten a lemon poppyseed muffin (130 cal), 1/3 of a belgian waffle (90 cal), 1/2 tbsp butter (50 cal), and 2 tbsp syrup (105 cal) and my total was 375 calories. I burned 350 at the gym. And then my friends were all "Hey Toni we're going out to eat at Burger. Wanna go?" And I was all "Ok but I might not eat anything because I'm planning on a pizza roll party with Jenna later." And they were all "Ok." I ended up eating a hot dog with mac-n-cheese on it (that alone is 400 calories), french fries (225 cal), and 16 oz of Sprite (155 cal). And on top of that I still had the pizza rolls, 12 of them (420 cal). Yup, my net intake came to 1225 calories. I heavily doubt that the scale will tell me that I've lost weight. =/

Today I am sticking to my plan. I'm not gonna be Fatso McGee today. I'm going to limit my net intake to 1000 and burn more than 1000. I'm not going to fuck up.